The BBC has cottoned on to what the rest of us have known for some time: John Motson has lost his marbles. Motty is being pensioned off after tonight’s Euro 2008 final. As he hangs up the famous sheepskin coat, Pies recalls some of his finest moments.
1. “And I suppose Spurs are nearer to being out of the FA Cup now than at any other time since the first half of this season, when they weren’t ever in it anyway.”
2. “Actually, none of the players are wearing earrings. Kjeldberg, with his contact lenses is the closest we can get.”
3. “If David Beckham claims that goal, it will be only the second goal he has scored for England… well, no, it won’t be… it’ll be the fourth or fifth free kick, I think… but certainly the one in Sapporo is the one we remember most in recent times… but how often has he changed the direction of the game for England?”
4. “And Seaman, just like a falling oak, manages to change direction.”
5. “What a time to score… 27 minutes!”
6. “The Czech Republic are coming from behind in more than one way now.”
7. “Apparently, Clint Dempsey is a freestyle rapper – whatever that means.”
8. “For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip.”
9. “The World Cup is a truly international event.”
10. “The referee is wearing the same yellow-coloured top as the Slovakian goalkeeper. I’d have thought the Uefa official would have spotted that – but perhaps he’s been deafened by the noise of this crowd.”