By Chris Wright
“Nom nom nom”
After feasting uponst Branislav Ivanovic’s flesh at Anfield yesterday, the PFA have offered to help Luis Suarez curb his cannibalistic tendencies by putting him on
a strictly vegan diet one of their anger management counselling courses.
PFA chief executive Gordon Taylor said:
“There is no doubting [Suarez’s] football ability, that’s why it is so disappointing and embarrassing when he lets himself down.
“We have to work hard on anger management now. We have trained counsellors in this field and we will be offering their services to Liverpool and the player to try to improve matters.”
Will it work? Will it buggery! The PFA should approach this the same way in which all rodents are weened off eating one another. Behaviour modification therapy. A couple of stout high-voltage electrodes in the brain never fails.
In other news, Suarez has announced that, while an FA charge is still forthcoming (it’s a 24-week ban for a second offence of biting in Rugby Union – fingers crossed), he has been fined by Liverpool and has asked for money to go to Hillsborough Family Support Group.
What a precious dear.