Samuel L Jackson Is Going To Save Liverpool Football Club!

Chris Wright

30th, September 2010


By Chris Wright

“I don’t wanna kill you, I wanna help you”

Troubled Liverpool fans can put their baseball bats and ski-masks away, because help is at hand – and from a fairly unlikely source.

A gaggle of Hollywood producers, directors and actors are planning to release a short film highlighting the supporters’ continuing protests against the club’s rootin’ tootin’ owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett.

Producer Mike Jefferies (The Goal! franchise) and casting director Dan Hubbard (Bourne Ultimatum, The Damned United) are heading the project which is set to get underway this weekend, and are hoping to persuade many of their ‘A-list’ contacts to get involved.

Actors Samuel L Jackson and Mike Myers, both ‘confirmed Liverpool fans’, are rumoured to have already signed up to appear in the viral campaign, with Jefferies promising to try and persuade many more ‘big names’ to nail their colours to the mast;

“You won’t believe who’s involved. I’ve been stunned by terrific reaction of so many celebrity Reds, and many, many fans want to be involved in the film too. It is important to get the message across that the fans want Hicks and Gillett out. There are millions of supporters who can not accept their club being touted as a product like a soft drink.

The viral is already building massive momentum and there is a real feeling now amongst the fanbase. But they don’t care, they don’t care about our club – except its valuation. By trying to refinance instead of showing some class and cutting a reasonable deal with someone and cutting his losses, Hicks is saying ‘f**k you’ to the fans.

So what should we say in reply? ENOUGH! The only way we can get him to change his arrogant mindset is to give him a bloody nose and embarrass him in front of his family, friends, business associates, investors etc.”

I can barely get my head around such pallid nonsense at this time in the morning, so I’ll just leave you with the salient details…

Jefferies and Hubbard will be based at the Hope Street Hotel in Liverpool city centre from 10am-6pm on Saturday, and 9am-noon on Sunday – should any of you want to go along and record your protest.

Posted in Liverpool

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  1. syndex says:

    jackson huh everton have got rocky and he could kick jacksons ass

  2. Chunky says:

    Ooops! Have you never heard of ” Stallone has left the building!” ?
    It would appear that at bottom of EPL Everton seems to have joined him….. only joking you Toffees!

  3. Mr. Angry says:

    come on samuel!

  4. PieEater says:

    Toffee Wanker

  5. Dude says:

    Adrian, Adrian V Jules:

    There’s a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.” Now… I been sayin’ that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. You’d be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherf****r before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin’ made me think twice. See, now I’m thinking: maybe it means you’re the evil man. And I’m the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here… he’s the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you’re the righteous man and I’m the shepherd and it’s the world that’s evil and selfish. And I’d like that. But that shit ain’t the truth. The truth is you’re the weak. And I’m the tyranny of evil men. But I’m tryin’, Ringo. I’m tryin’ real hard to be the shepherd.

    Rocky ain’t really in it is he!! ??

  6. chimpo says:

    bet this’ll have them quivering with fear

    utter nonsense

  7. redrob says:

    syndex brain by-pass…
    well done for pulling out your 1 celebrity fan card even though it is a dribble encrusted roid gurn-bot. Doesnt your own club generate any news, everytime i end up reading a story on the net regard lfc, there at the bottom is some retard in blue pearl of wisdom.

  8. syndex says:

    my my how many touchy liverpool fans can we find without a sense of humour, the stallone thing was a joke when he turned up at goodison which is kind of the point I was trying to make. Having a bunch of past it celebs make a tinterweb viral will not rid you the texas cowboys it will make you look a joke (a feat we at least manage on the pitch)and as for the threats of violence towards hicks it is little surprise the lack of sympathy the rest of the football world is showing at your demise.
    May the farce be with you

  9. Mark says:

    When you walk through a storm hold your head up high. We will be back

  10. Lars Moltu says:

    Greetings to fellow Reds from Norway. I am really pleased with the latest developments and this can do nothing wrong with our beloved club. The media focus and now with the celebrities joining in – it will be more of that. The marketing value is enormous and will surely bring in more fans.

    Come on new owners…step up to become superstar heroes by building the stadium, add some class players and wipe off the debt. It will be worth it!

  11. syndex says:

    I am not sure if Lars is for real, but then again Liverpool fan from Norway the story does check out.

  12. Spit The Dog says:

    Well said Dude! Lovin your work……

  13. R Kam says:

    Sam: We happy?
    [Mike continues staring at the briefcase’s contents]
    Sam: Myers! We happy?
    Mike: No we’re not happy.
    Hicks: I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name. I got yours, Sam, right? I’ve got quite an investment opportunity for you.
    Sam: My name’s William L. Shankley. And your ass ain’t talkin’ your way out of this shit.
    Hicks: No, no, I just want you to know… I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so fucked up with us and the fans. We got into this thing with the best intentions and I never…
    Sam: [Sam shoots a fat Spanish waiter dropping off some food from the restaurant upstairs] I’m sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn’t mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What’s the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. You’re going to sell the club and you and your fat boyfriend are not going to make a single cent on the deal, you got that?
    Hicks: What?
    Sam: What country are you from?
    Hicks: What? What? Wh – ?
    Sam: “What” ain’t no country I’ve ever heard of. They speak Scouse in What?
    Hicks: What?
    Sam: Scouse, motherfucker, do you speak it?
    Hicks: No! I haven’t a clue what they say most of the time! I almost sold off Gerrard for a dirty rag and a toothbrush! I mean, that can’t seriously be English can it? I’m American just like you!
    Sam: [in a pitch perfect Mersey accent] Eh den dew ya now whut’m sayin’!
    Hicks: NO!
    Sam: Describe what Bill Shankley looks like!
    Hicks: What?
    Sam: Say ‘what’ again. Say ‘what’ again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time! I will tie you to the Shankley Gates and let a Goddamn Liverbird peck out your eyes after the SOS are done with ya.

  14. Travis says:

    @R Kam: hahahahahahaha that was extremely funny well done.

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