Rafa Benitez tells Fernando Torres to stop ‘dicking around’ and ‘start scoring’

Ollie Irish

19th, August 2009


Fernando Torres’ job is to score goals. Simple, especially for a striker as talented as he is. Except Torres seems to have taken his eye off the ball (or, as Jamie Redknapp would say, “He’s literally taken his eye off the ball there, Richard”).
Torres cut a distracted figure at White Hart Lane on Sunday, arguing with the ref and confronting Tottenham’s players. So much so that Benitez has sent a public message to his star striker (his only decent striker, to be honest). The Fat Spanish Waiter said of Torres:

“I have told him that he has to stop this [reacting to provocation]. He knows he has to improve this aspect of his game. He has to be completely focused on his football and he knows that the way forward is to respond to any intimidation by scoring. Sometimes it is not easy to deal with everything opponents do, but he knows he must deal with it in a different way.
“In his first season he was really focused and I think he will do that again now. He knows he has to improve a little bit in these things. He is a star and the defenders are really worried about him, but that is part of the game now.”

Gentle criticism, but criticism nonetheless.
But is it Torres’ fault that he has no support up front and so gets isolated? No. That one’s on Rafa, who has somehow ended up with a forward roster of Torres, Voronin and N’Gog.
You reap what you sow, Rafa. You were the one who ditched Peter Crouch and Robbie Keane. You were the one who transformed Dirk Kuyt and Ryan Babel into wide midfielders.

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  1. Dan says:

    Oh here we go, typical Liverpool bashing YET AGAIN from Pies. N’Gog is a quality player, Voronin scored about a million goals in Germany last season, how is it Rafa’s fault? And with the Fat Spanish Waiter comment? Is that humour? NO!!!1! Babel and Kuyt are fantastic wingers, Keane and Crouch didn’t have the quality for LFC, GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT. Writing us off already, just cos the whole media is up Fergie’s ARSE. Never reading this shite blog again.
    BTW I’m not a Liverpool fan, I’m simply pre-empting half the comments you’re going to get on this post.

  2. Anonymous says:

    The best quote I read about Babel at the weekend was “He didn’t even manage to flatter to deceive he was that poor.” Looks quite a complete waste of both money and a starting 11 place to me.

  3. Sheps says:

    Pipe the hell down Dan! Christ some people who comment on this blog need to learn not to take everything at face value. It’s the job of a blogger to be provocative to start a debate. Yet instead of you cretins arguing it you just say “you’re wrong I’m right FLAME LOLZORS!”
    And N’Gog, quality? Please. He’s the definition of unproven. Scoring goals in Germany is clearly not the same as in the premiership, and anyone who thinks Kuyt is a fantastic winger needs to have another think about things, clearly.
    But most amusing of all:
    “Writing us off already……” and
    “BTW I’m not a Liverpool fan….”

  4. Ollie says:

    OK, some home truths:
    1) N’Gog may have talent but he is unproven and has done nothing so far in his Liverpool career. Fact.
    2) So Voronin does well in Germany. So what? Like N’Gog, he’s done nothing for Liverpool, and that’s who I’m talking about here.
    3) Kuyt is a fantastic workhorse, not a fantastic winger. As for Babel, please, he’s clearly not good enough.
    4) Dan, sadly you’re the perfect example of the worst kind of modern football fan. One word of criticism about your team and you bash away indignantly at your keyboard, fingers ablaze. This is not an anti-Liverpool blog. It’s not an anti-anyone blog. If you choose to stop reading it, that’s your choice. Of course, you’ll be back, like a moth to the flame, spewing forth kneejerk reactions like a teenager who’s just had his first successful wank.

  5. Dan says:

    Erm, you’ve all missed the point of my post…it was meant as a tongue in cheek reference to 90% of the comments you get on this blog Ollie. Every time you attempt some humour or poke fun at a team (mainly Liverpool or City) you get about 20 rabid fans faoming at the mouth about how the media is against their team.
    For the record, I think Babel, N’Gog and Voronin are all crap, and Kuyt is basically a Dutch version of Emile Heskey. Benitez will never win the league at Anfield and I hope to God he never does, as they are the most boring team I have had the pleasure of watching.
    I now realise perhaps my post was too accurate to be seen as a pastiche of the typical rose-tinted efforts of Liverpool and City fans, and for that I apologise.
    Again, for the record, I believe in precisely 0% of my previous post, it was made up on the spot. I’m a Wigan fan who holds quite a burning hatred for the delusional Scousers up the road.

  6. gerald says:

    dan – i understood and appreciated the humour. next time you need to put it in more and smaller words for all others to understand, maybe add some smileys. you know, the real experts that patrol these pages can’t be held to decipher between reality and humor.

  7. Dan says:

    Sorry about the confusion gerald. I realise my mistake now – it seems my post was lacking swears and monosyllables, and I’m ever so sorry for that.
    Ollie, I realise you are probably sick of people jumping on whatever you say and accusing you of -bashing. And I’m one of the worst sorts of football fans? I think not, I’m one of those who can see both sides of stories, I can take humour against my club, and I don’t randomly accuse media outlets of bias. Personally, I think that makes me one of the better football fans.
    I would appreciate it if you retracted the sentiments in point four, and perhaps directed them at the posters on the thread about Carlos Tevez being on the bench.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Ollie- “Of course, you’ll be back, like a moth to the flame, spewing forth kneejerk reactions like a teenager who’s just had his first successful wank.”
    That’s a great quote, nice one

  9. Ollie says:

    Ah, sorry Dan. My sarcasm radar was switched off for once. Won’t happen again.

  10. Dan says:

    Haha no problem. I thought it might be a bit of welcome relief from all the rabid fans that have invaded recently. *cough* CITY *cough*
    Anyway, liking the blog, glad you’ve got it sorted out now.

  11. MattyDub says:

    Wow just WOW, what a comments section. Think you should create a sarcasm tab so that your text goes red or sum shizzle…

  12. Sheps says:

    Or maybe if you’re going to be sarcastic actually make it apparent. And don’t confuse people by responding in kind to some comments in person “I would appreciate it if you retracted the sentiments in point four” and others as if your op was sarcastic.
    I’m confused.
    And Voronin only scored 10 in Germany last year which is pretty shit.

  13. Dan says:

    Well sorry if the polysyllabic words confused you Sheps, but I tried to point out I was being sarcastic with the disclaimer at the bottom, but you decided to take it at face value (like you criticised me for in the first place) and complain about Liverpool fans. There is only so much I could do to make it sound sarcastic, I mean who on this planet thinks that N’Gog, Voronin and Kuyt are going to score enough Premiership goals?
    And the ‘I would appreciate…’ comment was simply pointing out where I drew inspiration from, rather than a serious effort to draw an apology from Ollie.
    Sorry if I confused you Sheps, here’s a quick guide – I don’t like Liverpool.
    Voronin is about as good at football as Man City fans are at accepting humourous criticism.
    N’Gog, Kuyt and Babel wouldn’t get anywhere near any of the other members of the top four’s starting eleven.
    Liverpool will not win the title this season. Faccccchhhhcchchchct.

  14. meji says:

    Lol @ Dan…I was pretty sure you weren’t kidding either – gotta be clearer with your sarcasm next time bro.
    Anyways – Liverpool = Boring.
    Liverpool just isn’t the squad that’s going to win..people expect so much from a team that doesn’t have the firepower.

  15. Dan says:

    Sorry meji – next time I feel the need to do this I’ll actually write ‘I’m being sarcastic’ – it doesn’t seem to come over well on the internet!

  16. StevieGistheMan says:

    Liverpool 3 Stoke nil today.
    And sarcasm on messageboards can sometimes be tricky to decipher. Especially in a rant like Dan’s but quite hilarious when figuring out that it is in fact sarcastic.
    Rewatch some of Liverpool’s games last year (Portsmouth, Aston Villa, Man U and Arsenal games in the Prem and Real Madrid in the Champions League come to mind) and calling them a “boring” team just doesn’t hold up. We do need another quality striker badly and the loss of Alonso is going to bite Rafa in the ass.

  17. machine goooner funk says:

    seriously im happy dan wasnt being serious because theres certainly been a rash of moronic posters jumping aqll over ollie and showing just how thinskined and intellect deprived they really are. honestly lately this site has been overrun with mouth breathers who cant take a fucking joke. and yes rafa does look like a waiter at a nice restaurant. keep em coming ollie. UP THE ARSE!

  18. Dan says:

    I agree machine gooner funk. That’s partly why I decided to post what I did, it’s ridiculous how Celtic, Man City and Liverpool fans crawl over everything he says like he’s hell bent on destroying their clubs. Get a sense of humour, jesus.
    Viva Pies!

  19. Quincy says:

    Ohh soo poor rafa,

    Me daddy sais his mouth+beard look like the thingie of a old lady…
    Don’t know if he’s right! =P

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