By Chris Wright
Presenting, Mario ‘I’m happy when I’m sensible’ Balotelli’s first act as head of Firework Safety – an informative pamphlet on Bonfire Night dos and don’t that he definitely penned himself most likely had absolutely nothing to do with.
Still, it’s all for a good cause – no-one likes their night being interrupted by a trip to A&E to graft little Johnny’s eyelids back on…
Mucho thanks to Pies reader Graham for bringing this one to our attention!