By Sam Diss
Now, stop me if I’m wrong but forty million pounds sterling is a lot of money. If you add up what everyone who’ll read this article will earn in a lifetime, it’ll likely barely scratch the surface.
Harry Kane is a very good footballer possibly on the verge of becoming a great one: a Great British Hope with a hammer in his boot, a knack for slow-motion dribbling and the most charming lisp this side of that weird kid from Jerry Maguire. But the supposed forty million pounds that Man United (according to Guardian, among many others) are talking about spending is simply ludicrous.
Take, if you will, the example of Michu. Now, I’m not saying that England’s golden boy will necessarily go the way of Oviedo’s favourite son – all screaming celebrations and disappointing spells at Napoli – but it could happen.
He could end up as just a footnote in a One Good Season pub quiz round. Is that really a risk that Man United are willing to take?
The premium on English-born players is bit of a pisser at the best of time but for strikers, even more so.
For that kind of money United could buy a whole new defence – you know, one of those things that stops people shipping a load of goals into your net. Or they could get a midfielder and a striker. They could get two strikers plus a winger.
What I’m trying to say is that, of all the things Louis van Gaal should be spending forty bloody million actual pounds on, Harry Kane – god bless him and his blood, guts and bluster – is not the one.
You’ve already got Wayne Rooney for the Roy of the Rovers stuff. You can’t have two.
Follow Sam on Twitter: @SamDiss