10 things more interesting than watching Chelsea v Manchester United

1 Watching paint dry

2 Watching Channel 4 property programmes while ignoring a nagging feeling of deja-vu

3 Attempting to sing Sex Pistols songs in a Jose Mourinho voice


4 Attempting to sing Sex Pistols songs in a Sir Alex Ferguson voice

5 Using the internet to researchtumbleweed

6 Using the internet to research either side’s starting line-up

7 Watching a long interview with Alan Shearer

8 Googling yourself

9 Making a DIY zebra out of a horse

10 Clive Tyldesley