Back On Top: Man Utd Vice-Chairman Ed Woodward Has Some Exciting News For Fans Regarding Alexis Sanchez’s Transfer

Chris Wright

8th, February 2018


Embed from Getty Images

Manchester United fans will be able to sleep soundly in their beds tonight after vice-chairman Ed Woodward delivered a stirring ‘State of the Union’ address at the New York Stock Exchange on Thursday.

Coinciding with the release of United’s half-season results, it was left to Woodward to deliver the exciting news that all supporters have been longing to hear.

Turns out the club truly are competing (and winning) at an elite level on a global scale once again:

The Alexis Sanchez signing generated 75% more social media interactions than Neymar’s world record transfer to PSG.

We set a new January record for shirt sales, three times the previous best.

We’re back on top, boys! What a phenomenal resurgence. United retaking their rightful place at the top of the world game.

Granted, perhaps it’s a little unfair to pillory a bloke for discussing figures and social media impressions at a meeting with the club’s shareholders, but it’s still sad to glimpse how the bigger clubs now assess the impact of a transfer.

Modern football is indeed, rubbish.