Ginger, Half-Blind, Asthmatic…And The Best English Midfielder Of His Generation

By Chris Wright

All things must pass – an apt epitaph for the career of a man who used the ball like Paul Scholes did in his pomp, a midfield hub that could ping a zephyr-like pass across the width of a crowded football pitch and land it on a pound coin 99 times out of 100.

All known laws of the universe state that he should never have been able to make it as a professional sportsman in any capacity – what with his squinty short-sightedness and his oft-chronic asthma – though, by way of his immaculate footballing talent, Scholes systematically mangled the principles that govern our very cosmos like they were little more than Pablo Zabaleta’s right thigh.

Of course he couldn’t tackle for toffee, and became more and more of a dangerous liability the pinker his face became during a game (the ‘furrowed brow-to-impending doom ratio’, as it duly became known), but the stellar endorsements of his almost peerless creative craft are myriad and speak volumes on behalf of a man who rarely says a word.

Along with the five Barcelona players that queued up to swap shirts with him after the Champions League final on Saturday evening, fellow luminaries such as Zinedine Zidane, Edgar Davids, Xavi, Laurent Blanc, Pavel Nedved, Jose Mourinho, Bobby Charlton, Juan Sebastien Veron, Thierry Henry and Robbie Savage (this list goes on and on) have all lined up to champion the ginger runts’ mercurial talents at one point or another, and for good reason – put simply, Scholes is/was the finest English artisan midfielder of his, and probably several other generations.

The tip of the iceberg…

Well played Sir, well played.

Posted in Featured, Man Utd, Opinion, Videos

Share this article: Email


  1. Tinez says:

    Not the complete midfielder because he couldn’t tackle a fishing line, but by far the greatest creator the premier league has ever seen.

  2. St Michael says:

    *bow down*

  3. QStel says:

    Outside the UK he is better known for kicking the sh*t out of any opponent that was more technically skilled than himself (i.e. almost everybody).

  4. Ben says:

    I get what QStel is doing, but I really don’t get why. Do people who “troll” on websites actually sit back and watch the replies? Are there not better things to do?

    Scholes was an exceptional player by the way, not quite on the Zidane-Baggio-Messi level but certainly the next step down, along with the likes of Nedved, Henry, del Piero (this is just my opinion, if you don’t agree, that’s fine by me!)

  5. St Michael says:

    Scholes is looked up to by most of the players you listed.

    Xavi is a big big fan.

  6. Trololololo says:

    Respect for the Ginger Pele from a diehard ABU’er.

  7. dave says:

    worthy of a knighthood i reckon.

  8. Sex God says:

    Paul Scholes

    A truly undisputed Sex God of the highest order

    he shall be dearly missed in all quarters of the Sexual Heavens

  9. Sex God says:

    (His football shall be missed, not Him, as He shall always reign supreme in the Kingdom of the Sex Gods)

  10. Sex God says:

    it angers me when people say this Sexual Deity couldn’t tackle

    He could tackle just as well as any other player of His type, but He picked up a bad reputation because a few little misdemeanours along the way

  11. levonlevy says:

    Credit where it is due. Although I am a Liverpool supporter, truth be told, Scholes was far better than all our centre midfielders starting with the class of 92 onwards. Vision, tackling abilities and hard-working, even if meant a dismissal. Although in the latter years he was used sparingly (injuries, odd red card now and then, fitness, etc) he contributed immensely to the achievements of Man U over the last 19 years

    And on this, I know I am not walking alone…

  12. Calski says:

    @Sex God – It’s getting old mate.

  13. Miguel - NYC says:

    Excellent player. Good luck!

  14. Nick Wiper says:

    great player, probably could tackle but had a dark side and chopped people down, some passing and shooting abiltity though from a liverpool fan, still not as good as Gerrard though :P

  15. Jules says:

    Those glorious cross-field balls will be sorely missed.

  16. theredflag says:

    No screamer vs. Barca in CL Semi?

  17. Andres says:

    Sad day

  18. Tompa says:

    The late tackles will truly be missed.

  19. Ryan says:

    He likes the outside of his foot. Skillz.

  20. LordRT says:

    Wondergoal in 2008 against barça, and of course a ‘great’ tackler hahaha

  21. Hooner Portoz says:

    What’s him being ginger got to do with anything?

    Would you say “Pele; Black skin…. and the best Brazilian player ever”?

  22. Papi says:

    @ Calski

    Of all the comments here, I have to agree with yours the most.

  23. Sex God says:

    i have personal issues in my life and i express it by being an asshole sorry. i dunno why its cause i was raped as a child and so ive always been obsessed with sex

  24. Bob says:

    He was indeed a bad tempered little hacker who would consistently up end players who got the better of him.

  25. NoClip says:

    ^ Really lad? If you were raped then why did you become obsessed with sex rather than being traumatized?

  26. Sex God says:

    ah yes, juvenile antics return (comment no. 23)

    but of course, as stated before, these antics only cause this deity to strengthen Him

    these immature cretins are only wasting their time

  27. jayjayst5 says:

    Sholesy is your favourite player’s favourite player

  28. Mr. Angry says:

    extremely overrated,, never been as good as stevie g.. in any aspect of the game

  29. FakYiuMam says:

    Paul Scholes is not as good as Gerrard; he is miles better than the kop cunt. It’s like comparing angel to chicken shit. Sigh

  30. Headless chicken says:

    Overrated player like all english players. Not very good at all. Those of you who think he is great because all these name players wanted his shirt, do not understand how players are taking the piss. the only thing he was decent at was shooting. But an average at best player by european standards

  31. Nikola says:

    Reporter: How does it feel to be the best midfielder in world football?
    Zinedine Zidane: I don’t know. Ask Paul Scholes :)

Leave a Reply