THE VOTE: Who is the gayest-acting-but-straight Premier League footballer?


24th, September 2007


It’s Gay Week on Pies, to coincide with the Gay World Cup, which takes place in Argentina this week. Now, obviously there are NO gay footballers in the Premier League. I can’t stress that enough – they are ALL, to a man, strapping heterosexuals with lovely Wives & Girlfriends.
But, ask yourself this hypothetical question: who is the gayest-acting-but-straight Premier League footballer? Take ‘gay-acting’ to mean anything you like, by the way: campest, vainest, whatevah…
Anyway, I look forward to your (clean, legal) comments…

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  1. Anonymous says:

    i now he is in the championship now but i have always had my doubts about JFH.
    Dont know why but he is a bit touched, shall we say

  2. Goooner says:

    I would HAVE to say
    He just is!

  3. Rusty says:

    Aaron Lennon. Can i say that?
    In the world of cricket: Monty Panesar (yep).

  4. cole says:

    I would agree with rusty.
    Aaron Lennon practically minces (allbeit at pace) up the wing.

  5. OmegaSupreme says:

    Torres and Ronaldo probably have more moisturiser, hair-gel, sprays and what not than your actually bona fide gay. Hahah I said boner. Plus Duiff acts like a bit of a girl with his theatrics.

  6. Joe says:

    C’mon, they all pale in comparision to Ashley ‘Mrs. Cheryl’ Cole, don’t they? THere was a pic in this month’s Q with him in a white suit with an earring and an unbuttoned shirt. Now, I’m not homophobic or anything, but that must have been the gayest thing I have ever seen…

  7. dan says:

    whose to say if there are NO gay players in the prem…i read on 442 that 1 in 10 people are gay…there are 2000 players in the football league…there has to be some surely
    i for one have my doubts 0ver john o shea

  8. lessfield says:

    Chris Eagles and his seriously sculpted eyebrows make him the raining pseudo poof champ @ united

  9. Anonymous says:

    Cristiano Ronaldo looks gay, I mean, he’s walking around with Louis Vuitton’s “man” purses, wearing tight pants an pink shirts…too metrosexual for my taste.

  10. haha says:

    got to be john terry and frank lampard. just watch them talk… and obviously ashley tweedy-cole.
    …and mark lawrenson is, essentially, a camp northern hairdresser.

  11. nicosian says:

    there are three prominent players that have a similar (and very gay) tic while dribbling. next time you watch cristiano ronaldo, robin van persie, or arjen robben, notice how all three keep their upper arms flush with their body but stick their forearms out like dainty victorians tiptoeing through tulips. cracks me up every time.

  12. Anonymous says:

    it has to be Freddi Ljungberg he likes Abba wtf!!!!!!

  13. Matthew Burke says:

    My first thought is for Robbie Savage, it’s plain as day.
    girly hair Didier Drogba is very gay-acting too. For him, diving is just a stalking-horse to be be all fours on the pitch.
    And I must add Jens Lehmann and probably all Arsenal players, especially Flamini, Rosicky and Van Persie (Arsenal is obviously the most gay-acting team in the Prem)

  14. Rob says:

    HÆ¡ could we have got this far in the discussion without mentioning Morton Gamst Pedersen?

  15. Clayton says:

    Just seen this
    It would have to be Lehmann in goal, who can forget the warm up he did on prime time BBC1 for his German squad.

  16. brian mahon says:

    its got to be …joe cole with his large head throwing himself to the ground like an big baby