Top ten worst things about watching football in the pub

Ollie Irish

8th, November 2007


Since the ‘Sky fell in’ and I found that I couldn’t watch Premier League games at home as dishes (no matter how mini) are not allowed on my building, I’ve been forced to get my football fill at the pub. And, although I can’t knock the alcohol and atmosphere, there’s some things that are starting to wind me up.
1. Unless you turn up two hours before kick off and place a towel over one of the stools you’re not guaranteed to get a good seat.
2. If you ever do get a good seat you can bet that someone as tall as Peter Crouch will turn up just as the game has started and stand right in front of you.
3. Trying to avoid the half time rush for the toilets by leaving five minutes earlier often results in missing a goal – and then being told it’s somehow your fault when you return 1-0 down.

4. If the screen is wall mounted you’re either standing up, shuffling from foot to foot, or sat down with a cricked neck that leaves you looking skywards for a week.
5. It’s always an effort to ignore the loudmouthed know it all (usually an Arsenal supporter) boring his so-called friends with his take on what he’s read in The Sun that morning.
6. If you think Sky is expensive then compare the per-game cost to buying four pints of lager, two packets of pork scratchings and ten Malboro Lights (that’ll you’ll have to brave bad weather to smoke).
7. The management don’t always want to watch the same game – most annoying when you turn up just before kick-off to watch United only to find out they’re showing Liverpool.
8. Unless you’re in a Sports Bar, there’s no time spared for watching the build up – at least not without the sound muted and some places even leave shit music playing while the game’s on.
9. There’s always the chance that you’ll be outnumbered by opposition supporters of the angry persuasion – meaning you risk probable harm if you win, or have to keep tightlipped and take it if you lose.
10. With a Premier League game on Mondays, Champions League on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, midweek hangovers are starting to take their toll while a diet of peanuts isn’t ideal
Let us know of anything you can’t stand about watching the game at the boozer

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  1. abu says:

    seppo united supporters EVERYWHERE

  2. Sid says:

    good shout out to the gooners in no. 5…….oh, but we read the Guardian don’t you know
    and a minor one: if you want to go somewhere different from where you normally go, its really difficult to find out what pubs are showing what, short of ringing them all up to find out (and then..see no.7). or just that there’s a lack of places full stop that show the football anymore cos its too expensive for the sky business licenses
    or being forced to go to a certain place to watch the football as its the only one around the area, and the pints cost £.3.30

  3. Clayton says:

    There is always setanta which you can get through freeview and *cough* online.

  4. Rob P says:

    The pint symbol in the corner of the screen. The first time I saw it I expected the amount of liquid in it to move down to ensure you were drinking fast enough and not just loitering!

  5. Dom says:

    Watching international games in close proximity to fat, skinheaded racists.
    “We hate the Ruskie bastards more than we hate the fuckin’ Poles.” – Heard at a recent international match in which England were rubbish.

  6. dan says:

    good call Rob P the little pint in the corner causes so much distraction…having to constantly look back at it and see if it has moved and on the extremely rare times getting in the way of a player >=(

  7. jamilinho says:

    all great points, especially being outnumbered by opposition suuporters. however ill elaborate on that by adding being outnumbered in a southern coastal town by masses of somehow Liverpool fans who have filled each town centre pub. Where do they come from?

  8. Bezzo says:

    The next c*nt to tell me or my mates to “sit down son” when my team has the ball is going to get FUBAR’d!

  9. bcat says:

    all the man u supporters thinkin they own the place but only to be beatin the shit out of by arsenal fans!!!

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