Classic Football Adverts: Alan Shearer Is Wooden As You Like In Timeless McDonald’s ‘Autograph’ Sketch, 1998 (Video)

Chris Wright

24th, October 2017

6 Comments

“Woor’ll ‘ave a fillet-oo-fish an a box of chickn dippahs an meerk it snappy lad…”

With all the will in the world, with his furrowed brow and voice less melodious than a dot-matrix printer, Alan Shearer simply is not a font of natural charisma.

As such, it shouldn’t come as much surprise that the-then Newcastle striker struggled to inject much life into his dialogue after being plonked in the middle of a McDonald’s advert during the run-up to the 1998 World Cup.

The mini-vignette sees a young Geordie desperately trying to get Shearer’s autograph only to be spurned at every turn, until a fortuitous meeting at their local fast food outlet (coupled with a bit of wry signature-based gamesmanship) changes all that…

‘Wooden’ doesn’t even come close.

Less than 20 years old and already this advert probably doesn’t make the slightest lick of sense anymore.

Do the damn, blasted kids of today even know what a cheque is/was?

Posted in Newcastle Utd, Retro, Videos

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6 Comments

  1. Olivier says:

    People still use cheques all the time where I live..? Is this not a thing in the UK anymore?

    • Chris Wright says:

      @Olivier: Honestly can’t remember the last time I saw anybody use one to pay for anything.

      Apparently they’re due to be phased out entirely by October 2018.

      • Olivier says:

        Wow I didn’t expect that… Giant cardboard checks won’t even mean anything anymore

        • A Nonny Moose says:

          I appreciate that you spelled it correctly the second time

          • Jarren says:

            No, it’s spelled “cheque”.

            But you see, the thing is, I like cheque but I also like check.

            I just don’t know which is better.

            THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT…

  2. Alex says:

    Even when he’s just acting, he’s a total prick to that kid.

    “You’re jokin’ aren’t you?!”

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