Four More Years: Sepp Blatter Re-Elected As FIFA President

Chris Wright

29th, May 2015

6 Comments

By Chris Wright

palpatine

“Good, goooooooood”

The votes are in. It went to the wire between Sepp Blatter and Prince Ali Bin Al-Hussein in Zurich, but we now have a winner…and it’s bad news, we’re afraid.

The first round of voting saw Blatter crush Prince Ali. However, the incumbent FIFA boss failed to get the magical 140 votes needed for a two-third majority…

A second round of voting was duly called for, with Blatter only needing 105 votes in the re-count. The writing, in truth, was already on the wall.

Needing 60 delegates to change their mind in the second phase, Prince Ali recognised the insurmountable odds and threw in the towel – formally withdrawing his candidacy and leaving Blatter free to sail on unencumbered into a fifth term as FIFA president.

Flagrant and shameless self-interest conquers all once again! Hip, hip, hoo-shafting-ray.

fireworks

Blatter’s victory speech went thus:

“For the next for years I will be in command of this boat called FIFA and we will bring it back ashore.”

“I take the responsibility to take back FIFA. We’ll do it, and I’m convinced we’ll do it.

“At the end of my term I will give FIFA to my successor in a strong position.

“I’m not perfect. Nobody is perfect. But we can do a good job together I’m sure.”

According to the Independent’s live blog, he then walked off stage chanting “Let’s go FIFA! Let’s go FIFA!” No, really.

Four more soddin’ years – though it definitely sounds like he’ll be bowing out after that (at the age of 83), so that’s something we guess.

Over to you UEFA. Let the boycotts roll…

Posted in Newsnow

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6 Comments

  1. Murray says:

    “I will be in command of this boat called FIFA and we will bring it back off shore…”

    …and headlong into the nearest giant iceberg!

  2. Joe says:

    I know we all knew this was going to happen but it has still seriously fananged me off.

    UEFA won’t boycott, FIFA won’t change and Sepp probably won’t stand down in four years.

    Can we not, as fans, agree to boycott World Cup sponsors until change is enacted, either through them withdrawing their support or with Blatter standing down?

    I reckon Pies might have enough sway to at least get some momentum up for something like that?

  3. Zak says:

    Pretty sure the quote was “…and we will bring it back ashore”.

  4. Anonymous says:

    He’s old enough to die by assassination and it wouldn’t be that big of a deal… Who’s going to take care of business?

  5. Marvin says:

    Need to work on your maths.
    Only 30 delegates needed to change their minds to swing the second vote to Prince Ali

Leave a Reply to Zak