By Chris Wright
If your idea of the perfect matchday experience happens to include having a fellow human being beholden in servitude to you for the entire duration of the game then, by Jove, you’re in luck!
For this weekend’s Euro 2016 qualifier against Slovenia, England fans attending the fixture at Wembley will be able to apply for the chance to win themselves a butler.
By entering the draw through the Wembley smartphone app, one group of fans will have their seats upgraded to “Gold Level” which, for one night only, will see a personal butler service chucked into the package.
The butler will be at the fans’ beck and call, catering to their every whim: delivering drinks and/or “bespoke 16-inch hot dogs” to their custom-moulded reclining seats.
“Mmmm. Mystery miscellaneous pork cylinders! My favourite!”
If that’s not a “I regret every life decision I’ve ever made” face, then we don’t know what is!
Suggested further reading…
10 Things Pies Just Can’t Bloody Stand About Modern Football