By Chris Wright
With the news today that James Rodriguez has become the latest footballing pin-up to foist a range of own-branded undercrackers unto the world, Pies thought we’d examine the strange, titillating phenomenon so you don’t have to.
Turns out they’re all bloody well at it!
Cristiano Ronaldo
Smooth, hairless, venous and with a satin finish to match…
Lionel Messi
“Well hello there. Can I interest you in an evening of sensual seduction?”
David Beckham
As far as footballers modelling budgie-smugglers goes, this is Genesis…
Freddie Ljungberg
Ljungberg later admitted that this infamous Calvin Klein shoot made his life a misery, complaining: “I’d go to a nightclub and girls would come up and grab my willy”…
Thierry Henry
Turns out there is something Thierry’s not very good at after all…
Hidetoshi Nakata
We think we see a clear definition of Nakata’s “spot” from here without him having to mark it for us…
Italian players en masse
Communally stripping down to nowt seems to be very popular with the Italian lads…
Genaro Gattuso
Feel free to just take a moment to enjoy this solo shot of Rino…
Peter Osgood
Proof that footballers in pants is not solely a modern phenomenon. here’s Chelsea hero Ossie showing off his goods back in 1975…
Florian Thauvin
Sponsored by Smarties, obviously…
Didier Drogba
Camp Drog in his absolute element here…
Oscar
Looks like someone forgot his PE kit…
John Terry
“Got time for a quick photo, John?”
Mathieu Valbuena
You’d get arrested for this kind of thing where Pies come from…
James Rodriguez
You’ll no doubt be glad to learn that his “J10” range also includes some very handsome loungewear…
Neymar
Nothing beats watching cartoons in your smalls…
Nicklas Bendtner
As you may recall, this little stunt proved incredibly costly for our Nicklas…
Matt Jarvis
Yep. This happened…
Paolo Di Canio
Di Canio was infamous for forever storming around in his shreddies after games – so much so, in fact, that he landed himself a spot in the prestigious 2004 “Men in Pants” calendar…
Kevin Keegan
Just out for a stroll with the guys…
Gareth McAuley
Time for some real sex appeal…
Cheeky.