Football Flashback: heterosexual England stars share a Jacuzzi

Ollie Irish

12th, November 2009



“Oi, Parlour, turn the bubbles up, you muppet.”

“Yes Guvnor, whatever you say.”

“And Jamie, do my shoulders whilst you’re up there.”

“Triffic, Guvnor. I’ll literally massage your shoulders…”

Back in the day, this is how the Guvnor and his entourage liked to kick back. Like Scarface, only with less cocaine and more ‘banter’. Gold chains too.

If you look closely into the eyes of Romford’s Pele, you can see him thinking, “What the f**k am I doing in a Jacuzzi with all these legends? Mint!” Either that or he’s very afraid.

Woah, hang on a minute – I said ‘England stars’ in the headline, so how the hell did Welshie Gary Speed get in there – is is because back then he looked uncannily like a member of Take That (the Guvnor’s favourite band in the Nineties)?

And how old is Nicky Barmby? He must be at least 50 by now. Retire already – there are managers younger than you.