‘Nobody Can Do What I Do, I’m The Best Player In History’ – Cristiano Ronaldo Celebrates Fifth Ballon d’Or Win By Positively Drowning Himself With Praise

Chris Wright

8th, December 2017


Photo: @Cristiano/Twitter

Cristiano Ronaldo kept his obsessive quest to win seven Ballon d’Ors and sire seven children before he’s put out to pasture (yes, he actually admitted this out loud) by winning trinket number five in Paris last night.

The Real Madrid man beat Lionel Messi and Neymar into second and third place respectively to win the award for the second year in a row.

To celebrate, Ronaldo gave an interview to award denizens France Football, in which he spouted off some typically humble and self-effacing appraisals of his work…

Those quotes in full:

I don’t see anyone better than me. No player does things that I cannot do myself, but I see thing others can’t do.

There’s no more complete player than me. I’m the best player in history – in the good and the bad moments.

Assuming the transcript is correct: Bloody hell. It’s all rooted in childhood insecurities, of course – but still… what a pillock.

Once again, Messi emerges as the people’s champion simply by virtue of keeping his mouth shut, at least as far as English-speaking audiences are concerned.

Posted in Newsnow, Real Madrid

Share this article: Email


  1. Bruno says:

    In the end, he’s right… It’s like arguing against Michael Schumacher or Paul McCartney. People might prefer Senna and Lennon but numbers are numbers.

  2. jackie wilshere says:

    i like CR over messi; his impressive stature and liz taylor-eque elegance (and self indulgence) vs messi’s stumpy frame and mall haircut, but love watching both players. i often find myself defending CR as he’s not “the people’s champ”…. but this is bloody ridiculous!! hate on haters

  3. Fozia Falik says:

    ronaldos the best messi is fucked in his head

  4. JP says:

    He’s not wrong though. And he does a better job of concealing his tax evasion, and he doesn’t have a single shit tattoo. Look into your hearts and tell me honestly that you love Messi today as much as you loved him in 2011.

  5. CMDG says:

    Messi doesn’t have to tell everyone he’s the best there ever was.

  6. Archer says:

    Bollox… Maradona was a better player despite not having the athletic physique of Ronaldo – the greasy, big-headed twit.

    I think it could also be argued that Hazard is getting close to the Messi/Ronaldo level too.

    A different type of player, but Pogba ain’t bad either…

Leave a Reply to Fozia Falik