Ronaldo Debunks Pre-Game Sex Myth, Warns Us All About Perils Of Pre-Game Masturbation

Chris Wright

28th, October 2011


By Chris Wright


It’s one of football and sport in general’s most widely-regarded idioms that pre-game sex is a no-no as it will tater you out come kick-off, which is, of course, complete tosh.

I put it to you, how can something that lasts less than a minute possibly have a detrimental effect on your stamina levels?

Ronaldo knows this. Indeed, making the humpy beast with two backs hours before a match is/was of no concern to our protagonist, who seems to believe that taking Dick to meet Rosie Palms and her five sisters has a much more knackering effect.

Ron told Mundo Deportivo:

“It’s not true that sex is detrimental to performance on the pitch. No one can prove that. Masturbation is far more tiring.”

Perhaps, if you happen to masturbate like Michael Hutchence.