Ronaldo Debunks Pre-Game Sex Myth, Warns Us All About Perils Of Pre-Game Masturbation

Chris Wright

28th, October 2011

6 Comments

By Chris Wright

“BOOYAH!”

It’s one of football and sport in general’s most widely-regarded idioms that pre-game sex is a no-no as it will tater you out come kick-off, which is, of course, complete tosh.

I put it to you, how can something that lasts less than a minute possibly have a detrimental effect on your stamina levels?

Ronaldo knows this. Indeed, making the humpy beast with two backs hours before a match is/was of no concern to our protagonist, who seems to believe that taking Dick to meet Rosie Palms and her five sisters has a much more knackering effect.

Ron told Mundo Deportivo:

“It’s not true that sex is detrimental to performance on the pitch. No one can prove that. Masturbation is far more tiring.”

Perhaps, if you happen to masturbate like Michael Hutchence.

Posted in South America

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6 Comments

  1. rich says:

    ha!…ooooo….that last line was a tad harsh/in poor taste

  2. Chris B. says:

    … or David Carradine.

    (hides)

  3. Markell says:

    TOO SOON!

  4. Mr. Sparkle says:

    “I put it to you, how can something that lasts less than a minute possibly have a detrimental effect on your stamina levels?”

    Sex didn’t affect him probably because Ronaldo had the stamina of Anelka.

  5. fafaf says:

    It’s not all a stamina thing, it’s a testosterone issue.

  6. Titus says:

    “It’s not true that sex is detrimental to performance on the pitch. No one can prove that. Masturbation is far more tiring.”

    -This quote is downright brilliant. Shakesperean! Ranks right up there with 1940 Churchill

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