By Chris Wright
Just when we thought we were out, the Raheem Sterling vortex goes and sucks us right back in.
A couple of intrepid young pranksters have launched a campaign to make Man City’s new £49million trinket the new face of the English £20 note.
The plan is to hijack the Bank of England’s ongoing search for public nominations as to who should be the next person to grace their big purple notes
Simon Connor and Stephen Cross are hoping to corral people into voting for Sterling en masse on the following grounds:
1. HE’S A ‘MONEY-GRABBING 20-YEAR OLD’
2. HE’S THE GREATEST THING SINCE £48 MILLION SLICED BREAD
3. HIS EXTORTIONATE TRANSFER AND WAGES PROBABLY EARNED THE BRITISH ECONOMY A GENEROUSLY LARGE WINDFALL IN TAX
4. HIS NAME SOUNDS AWFULLY LIKE THE NAME OF OUR CURRENCY
Should you feel the compulsion to participate, you can submit a vote for Sterling by visiting the duo’s Crossconnor.com website.
Simon, who it should be noted at this juncture is a Manchester United fan, told the Metro: “I think this is the only thing that could possibly unite the fans of Manchester United and Liverpool.
“But only with the support of the entire football community can we make the Bank of England seriously consider our proposal”.
Stephen, a Gooner by trade, added: “The Bank of England say they won’t feature living characters but we think they should make an exception.
“The timing is perfect, he shares his name with our currency and in one deal has probably just earned the country a huge sum in tax”.
The vote closes this Sunday (July 19th) so we’d suggest you get a wriggle on if you’re remotely arsed.