A small team from the lower recesses of the German regional league have plucked up the courage to ask Bastian Schweinsteiger to sign for them.
SG Buna Halle are currently riding high in second place in the Nationalklasse 6th division and are hoping the addition of a World Cup-winning ex-Germany international to their squad might just help them gun for their title.
Buna Halle secretary Sascha Gerber shared the following open offer on the club’s Facebook page recently, taking good care to tag Schweinsteiger into the message:
Hello Bastian,
We learned yesterday that you are currently without a club. Damn, this can’t be right what we’re reading on our screen.
But better late than never. How you intend to play on has been speculated in various media, but a champion like you knows how to play at the best level.
Nevertheless, we want to make you see that a move to SG Buna could be tasty.
Gerber goes on to list the various boons that signing for Buna could being for a player such as Schweinsteiger, explaining that the slower pace of life in rural Saxony-Anhalt may well come as blessed relief to a man who has lived and worked in big cities his entire life.
As well as the countryside, Gerber mentions that Schweinsteiger would be free to sample any of the 20 beers the club have on tap, which the players (all of whom are “Schweini fans”, apparently) like to sup after matches.
The club also vow to introduce the 33-year-old to local delicacies, such as Halloren chocolate, and claim that their shouldn’t be any conflict of interest with Schweinsteiger’s sponsors at Adidas, for they already have an Adidas kit.
Oh, and the real kicker? Buna have gone on record as being willing to rename their stadium in Schweini’s honour, if needed, to seal to deal.
The club contact details can be found on our Facebook page. Our phone is open to you at any time, despite the hours’ time difference between us and Chicago.
Can’t blame them for trying. You don’t ask, you don’t get.
Personally, Pies would snap their hands off, but then again they had us at ‘beer and chocolate’.