Arjen Robben Goes Down Like A Cheating Sack Of Sh*t vs Bochum (Video)

Chris Wright

21st, December 2011


By Chris Wright

Let me list the reasons I hate Arjen Robben with the burning fury of one thousand imploding suns…

1) He doesn’t run, he gingerly minces. So much so, in fact, that I imagine his footsteps sound like that of a dog on a lino floor.
2) He, and you may have noticed this yourselves, feigns career-ending injuries quite regularly only to get up when it suits and keep on gingerly mincing.
3) He will actually coax himself to the point of tears in the pursuit of conning free-kicks.
4) That awful whining, pleading, presumptuous face he makes at referees after ‘having his legs swiped’ by a lesser being.
5) He seems to be ageing at twice the normal human rate.
6) He’s a terrible c**t and a poster child for the selfish on-field arrogance and nefarious con-artist mindset that pervades modern football.
7) This kind of thing…

Lord how I loathe that man.

Posted in Bundesliga, FAIL, Videos

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  1. kct says:

    He does go down too much for my liking, but he does get the shit kicked out of him most weeks for daring to be skillful on a football pitch….

  2. Dr. Roberts says:

    He’s pretty good though ;)

  3. garms says:

    funny you should post this.. my brother and I were watching highlights of the wc final of 2010 and when robben was through on goal the second time puyol does his best to foul him and robben stays on his feet…bet he regrets that one the nonce.

  4. Dave says:

    i never liked him, hes pretty shit also

  5. Wesley says:

    I’m Dutch and he can suck it in my opinion. Hasn’t playes a single minute in the EC qualification due to injuries. So I think it’s fair to leave him in Munich this summer.

  6. thisISben says:

    Just for you to know..he scored a 90th minute winner in this match.

  7. thisISben says:


    So fucking what? He’s still a cock!

  8. Stewart says:

    Cheating is such a big part of the modern game that I think we should be celebrating good cheaters (like all fans do when they play for them not the opposition). Goal of the season, save of the season, cheat of the season.

    I also think performance enhancing drugs should be encouraged but I’m probably on my own on that one.

  9. ande says:

    At least he later apologized during an interview on German television, calling his behaviour stupid.

  10. Luke says:


    I don’t… even… what?!

  11. Madjair says:

    The weird thing is, off the field he seems like a really nice bloke. I’m Dutch as well, and every time I see him (albeit on TV) giving interviews or whatever, it’s just a different person than what you see on the pitch.

    Doesn’t take away the fact that he can be a tad annoying, hell no.

    • Chris says:

      @Madjair and Georgina: No doubt he’s a thoroughly decent chap off the field, but as soon as he crosses that white line…

  12. GeorginaROBBEN says:

    Your little rant is ridiculous, Robben is an incredible player and you clearly have written this little angry list because you’ll never be as skilled as him. Yea, he might go down more than the average player but most of these occasions are when he is actually fouled! And you say he doesn’t run, oh sorry I didn’t realize that sprinting wasnt counted as running!!! And actually, my friend is his 2nd cousin and I wrote him a letter and he wasn’t arrogant or anything and took the time to resoond! Robben is incredibly skilled and exciting to watch….

  13. GeorginaROBBEN says:

    As soon he crosses that line he comes to play football, similarily to the other 21 players that come on…

  14. Richard Dunne says:

    That should be an automatic 3 match ban!

  15. Jay says:

    @GeorginaROBBEN: Really? After seeing that video?

  16. Jay says:

    ….and the 6 quite perfectly valid points before imo…..If he got rid of those actions, he would be respected more…..That’s why people HATE Ronaldo as well as Robben because of these antics and why Messi will be remembered more in history because of his more noble actions on the pitch….

  17. Jay says:

    …ok, I’m not saying Messi is ”holier than thou”, but continual feining of injury and diving is what makes me despise Robben and Ronalado. Would have much more appreciation for their skills if they had som SPORTMANSHIP in their play

  18. Fart Master Arse says:

    8) he’s an ugly prick with a face like a peeled potato. It hurts to look at that motherfecker

  19. jon says:

    diving pansy? yes. but, he also puts the team on his back. just ask man utd and fiorentina

  20. Red Egg says:

    It’s funny. You say all this. and yet the absolute worst of the bunch, Dani Alves, is never mentioned. Yes Robben takes a tumble too easily at times. In this video though, he originally tries to stay on his feet, then sees the ball away and goes down. so not completely out of line.
    I don’t understand why all the leagues don’t utilize video review, post-game, to evaluate diving and play acting. If they see that you dove, minimum suspension of 3 games. Diving would be out of the game in a month.

  21. thebridgecfc says:

    how can you say Robben doesn’t run though, he’s one of the fastest players in modern football. and how can you say he his sh!t? every teams he has played for has benefited from him, chelsea, madrid, bayern… he’s a world class player

  22. tom says:

    He’s amazing in many ways, but he dives a bit. Pretty much summed him up there.

  23. dc says:

    This move is not a Robben move– it is known as “pulling a Gilardino”

  24. Giancarlo says:

    @DC I was waiting for someone to mention Gilardino, the most overrated Italian striker. I’m so glad my beloved Milan rid themselves of that crap. That was the worst dive in history, and this dive by Robben is #2.

    I agree that Robben goes down way too much, and rolls and cries, and I wish he wouldn’t. His off field persona isn’t the question here. I’m sure Mark Van Bommel is a nice guy but he’ll rip your head off on the field. Gattuso, well, he’s just nuts lol.

    Anyways like someone mentioned earlier there are other players that are just as bad like Dani Alves, who I can’t stand because he’s a bit dirty at times too, Ronaldo because he’s a lil whiny bitch, and so many others that just flop away. I’ve never taken a dive in my life, and that’s one good thing I’ll say about Messi is that he tries his best to stay on his feet.

  25. Andrew says:

    You’re my hero, Chris. Word for word how I feel about him. He epitomizes all that is wrong with football. You CANNOT be considered a great player when you are a serial CHEAT.

  26. WildScotsman6 says:

    Cannea stand the bloke… he’s quick and skillful. But when ma mates and I would watch the footie, we’d always say something along the lines of “first one to land a solid tackle on Robben will take him out of the game… the man is a pure fud!”

  27. Mr Sensible says:

    His face when he scored that goal at Old Trafford (which was pretty special) is what annoys me most, don’t really understand the acting like a retard celebration.

  28. Redskywalker says:

    Lol, I agree with you Chris.

  29. GeorginaROBBEN says:

    You all disgust me, he’s a proffessional football player- something none of you will ever will be!

  30. Solihull United says:

    did you catch the ball popping at this match?!

  31. Chris says:

    Even as a Bayern supporter I get tired of him. Yes he’s a terrific player, quick and skillful, but it seems like a waste when he goes down like that. Who knows what could happen if he stays on his feet and keeps playing rather than diving. That goes for any player, not just Robben, whether is as blatantly obvious as this or maybe one that’s closer to call. Stay up and in the play, that’s what your job is, otherwise we would be signing actors not footballers.

    On a side note, does any see Spain as the new Italy when it comes to faking dives/injuries?

  32. emc88 says:

    The keyword here is professional, one who does his/her job to the bestTof their abilities. Robben’s best ability other than “mincing” haha, play acting, which this video portrays wonderfully. Robben is skilled but his shenanigans on the field precede his footballing.

    By the way my friends roommate is second cousins with Arjen we exchange letters monthly, decent chap.

  33. Anonymous says:

    Damn I really like Robben to, it bothers me when i see players i like or players on the team i support dive =(

  34. Mark says:

    @ Jay – you chat breeze – ronaldo ftw….

  35. Jay says:

    @Mark – Come say that to my face….Ronaldo is the epitome of what’s wrong with the game. Messi is a LEDGE. Pure football and gets on with the game. An inspiration to all youths and fans of the beautiful game.

    Remember –
    Messi plays for Barcelona and Argentina.
    Ronaldo plays for Ronaldo


  36. Mark says:


    Messi has the two best players in the world feeding him through balls….and he plays for the best team in the world….obviously hes going to score goals…

    Ronaldo, also has good players around him, but nowhere near as good as barcas midfield…so ronaldo has to play for ronaldo….the thing is…he does that….and still scores 50 a season…WORLD CLASS…

    Plus…ronaldo has also proved it in the premiership as well…getting hacked left right and centre…


  37. Nuno says:

    I don’t like Ronaldo one bit, but I believe he can be more of an inspiration than Messi. He worked HARD to get to where he is today, yes he had talent but he worked with it and is always trying to improve. He got to where he is today through hard work.
    Messi is just a genius, one of the most talented guys ever. With much work and discipline (starting early) many people can become a “Ronaldo” – One of the best players in the game. Only a few people can aspire being a Messi.
    Say that… yes he is an arrogant prick who dives a lot, but also gets actually kicked a lot. And yes, even as a portuguese, I like Messi 10.000x over Ronaldo (and personally, Xavi over Messi, but that’s me…)

  38. Tom Jones says:

    @Jay Please learn grammar. You sounds incredibly stupid(Something you probably are aswell)

    Why is this filed under Bundesliga? This was a cup game.

  39. Jay says:

    @Tom Jones…..Quite obviously London Urban patois is lost on you, but many thanks for the highlighting of the grammar differences.

    I disagree upon your point of me being stupid, but a huge thank you again for passing your opinion. Whilst I may not agree with you on it, I will defend to the hilt for your right to say it.

    Many Thanks again,
    All the best and have a wonderful non-hating day x

  40. Jay says:

    @Nuno, don’t get me wrong, I love how Ronaldo plays, with invention and bravery…..It’s the faking of injury and diving which gets my goat……He seems to be growing up and could eventually be an inspiration……Messi has had good sportmanship from the beginning and even though he gets kicked liked Ronaldo he carries on with the game, which is probably why I favour him as a football inspirtation moreso than Cristiano.

    Agree with your point on Xavi. The gaps he sees and the accurate passing he continually makes during a game is sublime…..Great to see small players bringing the beautiful game back :)

  41. Jay says:

    @MARK – Good points, but football is a team game. Ronaldo imo can be greedy on the pitch (and some may say off the pitch)….

    If he plays for the team and shows aptitude of being a a non-greedy player, he will be rerspected more in the world of football I reckon…..Hardly bringing the beautiful game back is he…..Jheeeze

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