By Chris Wright
Dirk Kuyt’s pristine Dutch face was left in a right old state after a gruesome accidental collision with Jonathan De Guzman during a training session on Tuesday which saw the two players charge into each other face-first and at full tilt…
Unsurprisingly, neither player played in Dutch side’s friendly against Portugal the following evening and De Guzman has even been ruled out of Swansea’s opening Premier League fixture with Manchester United tomorrow after suffering a nasty concussion.
As for Deadly; first thing’s first: his gorgeous wet-spaghetti hair escaped without injury, though that’s more than can be said about his crumpled, purple, partially-inflated, stitched-up face…
“HEY YOU GUYS!”