Bayern Munich spanked Hoffenheim 5-2 in the Bundelisga on Saturday evening, with January signing Sandro Wagner opening his goal-scoring account for the Bavarians against the very team he left to join them just a few weeks ago.
In truth, Bayern were already 4-2 up and cruising when Wagner entered the fray in 85th minute, but the striker took just a few minutes to penetrate the Hoffenheim defender for a fifth time…
While you might politely describe Wagner’s goal as a “bundled” strike, closer inspection revealed that the 30-year-old may have employed a rather delicate appendage to skilfully flick the ball past Oliver Baumann.
Describing the exact nature of his finish after the match, Wagner told BILD:
It may be that my penis played a part. It was there, I’m just not sure.
It happened so fast, but it was still very pleasant.
Pies have nothing but the utmost respect for a man who is willing to quite literally dick on his former club in front of 75,000 fans.