Masterclass: Michael Owen Flexes Supreme Acting Chops Once Again In Excruciating ‘Deadline Day’ Huawei Advert (Video)

Chris Wright

1st, February 2019

3 Comments

“This is your pilot speaking. Please try to refrain from leaping to your demise while I monotonously narrate a full day-trip around Dubai in real time”

Michael Owen has never been one to shy away from a cringe-inducing celebrity endorsement or three.

Who could forget his spine-tingling virtual reality helicopter tour of Dubai? Or the time he was hired by injury solicitors Gowling Law as their first all-wooden brand ambassador?

Now, on the day Newcastle finally broke his old transfer record, Owen has put pen to paper on an entirely different kind of deal.

With Joe Cole tacked on for good measure, the ex-England pair announced their very own ‘deadline day switch’… to Huawei mobile.

What follows is just over a minute of painfully dry acting and often-trotted clichés, as the pair discuss their “big decision” to change mobile providers.

It’s meant to sound like they are announcing a big move to a new club, except the tweet’s accompanying caption and insistence on @-ing Huawei kind of punctures any potential pretence.

There’s also the unfortunate truth that neither of them can convincingly portray professional footballers, despite spending the majority of their lives working in that precise field.

At least Cole is able to emote like a human being, as opposed to Owen, who gives the impression of a chronically dull man parroting lines while letting his imagination wander to which colour Range Rover he intends to buy with the proceeds: Titanium grey or Polished silver.

Owen’s efforts are further undermined by the fact that he appears to have tweeted out his decision to switch to a Huawei phone from his Apple iPhone.

In the immortal words of Neville Southall: “Yeah, nice one Michael.”

Posted in FAIL, Videos

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3 Comments

  1. Davi says:

    Why do you english hate him so much? As far as I remember, if it wasn’t for Owen, you wouldn’t even have a chance of going to 2 or 3 World Cups, let alone beat some caribbean nation by 1×0 there (usually scored by Owen).

    The guy is also the only english man to have a fucking Ballon d’Or in the past 40 years but it seems that Rahem Sterling or Darius Vassel are better players.

    What a bunch of ungrateful fucks. I’m glad I’m spanish, papito.

    • Chris Wright says:

      Exciting young player, always good for England, but utterly devoid of charisma or personality.

      His true torpor-inducing tedium didn’t really hit home until he moved into the media.

      • Davi says:

        You english are funny. You regard someone like Gascoigne – a guy that never played for a big club in his whole life, never won a title, never even played in the Champions League – higher than Michael Owen, a proven world class striker at the highest level and even ballor d’or winner, in spite of all the injuries. I get that he is not very interesting, but neither is Scholes, Lampard, Terry or Rooney.

        Give the guy a break. At his very best he was almost like Ronaldo the Fenomeno. Good times.

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