Floored Data: Study Reveals Neymar Has Spent Nearly 14 Minutes On The Floor At World Cup

Chris Wright

4th, July 2018

7 Comments

By Jack Beresford

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Neymar’s unseemly habit of going down under even the tenderest of bodily contact has won him few fans at this World Cup.

It has, however, earned him plenty in the way of extra rest if one study is to be believed.

That’s because, according to data collated by Swiss broadcaster RTS, the Brazilian has spent nearly 14 minutes writhing around on the turf during the tournament so far.

That’s 4 minutes and 30 seconds of agony per appearance thus far, or seven minutes of pain per goal. Hell of a ratio.

All told, the Brazilian has suffered 23 fouls (and we use the word ‘foul’ incredibly loosely there) in four games at the tournament – the most of any player.

According to RTS’s numbers, Neymar spent a whopping 5 minutes and 30 seconds writhing around on the ground against Mexico alone.

The longest of these delays came when Miguel Layun stepped on the forward’s right ankle, prompting a spectacular burst of amateur dramatics from the PSG striker.

Prior to that, Neymar spent 1 minute and 56 seconds “injured” against Serbia and endured 3 minutes and 40 seconds of similar suffering when they faced Switzerland.

Add in a further 2 minutes and six seconds of respite against Costa Rica (that gives us a total of 13 mins and 50 seconds overall) and you start to see why Neymar is quickly becoming the football equivalent of the boy who cried wolf, except this boy also has five different hairstyles a week.

He may yet lead Brazil to glory in Russia, of course, but he’s still got a lot to do – starting with a quarter-final against Belgium and a potential semi-final with France or Uruguay.

Come through those unscathed and only England will stand between Neymar and a World Cup trophy.

Yeah, you read that right.

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7 Comments

  1. sloth says:

    Yeah, I read this right? Pretty amateur, Pies…

    And wow, so embarrassingly over-assured about England’s chances against Sweden and Croatia or Russia… This is a team that has beat Tunisia and Panama, lost to Belgium, couldn’t score from open play against Colombia, choked in the 90+3 of their first knockout match, and won in a shootout thanks to a crossbar and an Ospina whiff on Dier’s poorly placed shot…

    Croatia demolished Argentina… Sweden beat Mexico 3-0… Russia eliminated Spain…

    Oh how I will revel in the viscerally crushing disappointment of an exit at the hands of one of these teams, ever-overlooked as Second Class in the delusional elitist eyes of the most undeservedly arrogant and self-important football culture on the planet.

  2. Comfy Chair says:

    “Neymar” was my response to the moron next to me at the pub, who claimed that Layun’s offence was part and parcel of the way “those Mexicans” play such “dirty football.” The idiot prefaced his stupidity by saying that he was sure some people would view him and his comments as racist (they were , of course).

    Again, dirty football = Neymar.

  3. VieuxSang says:

    Cantona… with the spaghetti hair…get that guy to straighten out these flailing maidens.

  4. Dr.Cajetan Coelho says:

    When in full flow Neymar Jr is a treat to watch. Rival defenders should prevent the ace striker from falling piously.

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