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Who ate all the pies

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I can’t think of many less meaningful non-friendly internationals than the third-fourth place play-off at the Confederations Cup, but this vid is worth watching for Katlega Mphela’s wonderful free-kick in stoppage time. The South African’s net burster made the score 2-2 and forced extra time, during which Liverpool’s Xabi Alonso won the match, also with […]

Next month (17 July, to be precise), indie rockers Doves – who support Man City – will play a concert in the car park of Eastlands Stadium (it doesn’t get much more rock ‘n’ roll than that, folks). The ‘Live from City’ gig is also sponsored by Umbro, who make City’s new kit. As such, […]

Yes, more tenuous Jacko v football tribute shenanigans. At least one footballer has celebrated scoring a goal by attempting the moonwalk. In Britain at least, the most famous of these is Bas Savage, who currently plays up front for Tranmere Rovers.

The teaser images made it just about clear enough that Man Utd’s new home kit features a big black chevron on the chest. And now the strip has officially been launched, we can see clearly that this is the case. First thoughts: why?! There’s no possible reason to place a black chevron so prominently on […]

Super sub Dani Alves – there aren’t many other teams in world football that can afford to leave a player of his quality on the bench – silenced the hosts’ vuvuzelas with a killer goal just two minutes before full time in last night’s Confed Cup semi final. It was a poor game, although the […]

Might as well get this up before the internet breaks completely - thanks to Gary Andrews for reminding me, via Twitter, of Jacko’s most tenuous of links to British football. RIP Wacko; long live the Grecians.

The final group kicks off today… Zlatan Ibrahimovic v Rio Ferdinand (Group G) Extremely cocky attacker v extremely metrosexual defender. Who you got? Vote below:

“It’s a great honour to be voted Dad of the Year. I have won many trophies in my career but I’m proud to say that this is up there with all of them.” John Terry, who was in no way shilling for Daddies sauce as part of a Father’s Day promotion (let’s be clear about […]

Today’s lookalike is a bit obscure, but you get two points for knowing that Fernandez is one of South Africa’s Confed Cup goalkeepers (he plays for Arminia Bielefeld in the German Bundesliga), and that Farleigh is an entrepreneur who used to sit on the panel of BBC’s Dragon’s Den. Email Pies with your lookalikes.

Who saw this coming!? Not me. Not anyone really. And so the USA prevented the Spanish from setting a new world record of 36 matches without a defeat. Somone had to stop Del Bosque’s men – I just didn’t expect it to be the States. Who’s to say Bob Bradley’s team, which is peaking with […]

Gooch Onyewu enjoys the spoils after the USA’s amazing win over Spain A potted match report: USA took their chances, Gooch defended like a Minotaur (when he’s on his game, he’s close to unbeatable) and Spain looked absolutely knackered. Congrats to the States, who will play either Brazil or hosts South Africa in the final. […]

After spending much of last summer talking out of turn about a possible transfer to Milan, it seems Emmanuel Adebayor has learned absolutely nothing. The player’s agent, Stephane Courbis, has been mouthing off again, on his client’s behalf. In an interview with, Courbis talked about Adebayor’s future: “As of today, I have not even […]

Eastville for Entertainment! Holy smokes, football has changed a lot in the last 35 years – if you showed this clip to C-Ron, he wouldn’t recognise it as football. Watch out for the cheeky scamps who try to trip up their own players using scarves, the heavy landing by one parachutist, and one of the […]

One is a striker for the US national team (he scored the opener against Egypt at the Confed Cup), the other is a B-list actor who starred in Crash and Iron Man. They could be brothers. Almost. Got a lookalike (must be a bit shit) for Pies? Email us with your suggestion.

Chelsea’s billionaire owner, Roman Abramovich, has just bought a £288m yacht, with built-in missile defence system. He could have got almost four Cristiano Ronaldos for that. Except… C-Ron would never have signed for Chelsea. I wouldn’t be surprised if Roman bought the yacht to cheer himself up, because he must feel like every star player he […]

Since the season ended and the transfer silly season began, Pies has been asking club fans to vote for the last player at the club they would want to get rid of. Today it’s the turn of Rafa Benitez’s Liverpool. If you had to sell all but one of the Fat Waiter’s players (to build […]

“Kaka? Music? He will only listen to the Backstreet Boys!” Robinho provides you with your quote of the day. Looks like we’ve found something wrong with Mr Perfect, at last.

Impressive ball control by the seal-like Brazilian. Pointless, but impressive. [Spotted @ 101GreatGoals]

The opening round of group games continues with a couple of peaches… Nemanja Vidic v Didier Drogba (Group G) They should put this match-up in a caged “Octagon”. I’d pay to see that. But you’re not voting on who’s the hardest (I take Vidic, every time; The Drog is all bark and no bite), you’re […]

West Ham’s most powerful fan, Barack Obama, is set to accept an invitation to attend the opening ceremony of the 2010 World Cup. The President is a self-proclaimed “soccer” fan - he’s publicly backed the States’ bid to host the World Cup in either 2018 or 2022. “He accepted [the invite],” a proud Sepp Blatter said […]

This leaked image of Man Utd’s new home shirt, complete with black “V” (an integral part of Nike’s new sportswear range) has been doing the internet rounds for a few weeks now. Many fans cried fake, but the release of a couple of genuine teaser images prove that the above image was not a fake. […]

Arsenal could really use Felipe Melo. The 25-year-old Brazilian had a great season with Fiorentina in 08/09, and he’s playing well for his country right now at the Confederations Cup (he scored against the USA). Melo is the perfect type of player to protect Cesc Fabregas at the heart of Arsenal’s midfield. He reminds me […]

Possibly fake but the keeper’s body language suggests otherwise. See also: Goal celebration diver misses the target The gayest goal celebration ever?

I didn’t think Newcastle Utd could do anything more to shore up their status as the biggest laughing stock in British football, but then I didn’t count on their new away kit, which is frankly hilarious/eye-burningly vile. Two shades of yellow? Mmmm, delicious. Someone at Adidas obviously has a wicked sense of humour, especially given […]

Angry Scousers attacked three RBS branches in the early hours of this morning in protest against the bank’s decision to refinance the £300m+ loan taken out by the club’s owners, Tom Hicks and George Gillett. The doors of Liverpool’s main RBS branch on Dale Street were padlocked, while homemade posters reading “No to refinancing” were […]