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Who ate all the pies

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blackpool%20rock.jpgPlymouth manager and philosophical genius Ian Holloway told a Blackpool fan where he could put a stick of rock – in his ear. Ollie reacted when the Tangerines fan branded Argyle players thugs.

One’s an 80s popstar who couldn’t actually sing while the other is a footballer who’s also been fluffing his lines until recently. Via Man United Pies

It’s sort of a rhetorical question, because to my mind he is definitely the worst player in the top flight. I’ve seen him in the flesh a couple of times this season and he’s been truly shite, of a standard you’d expect of players in League One or worse. Quite why Lawrie Sanchez bought him, […]

This clip from the Australian A-League shows Newcastle Jets’s Joel Griffiths somehow managing to hit the assistant referee in the balls without any complaint from the official!

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Lionel Messi was instrumental as Barcelona demolished Atletico Madrid 3-0 at the weekend. The Argentine made one and scored one to keep the Catalan club within two points of table-topping Real Madrid. The league leaders also kept up their winning ways by beating Recreativo Huelva 2-0. At the other end of the scale, Levante have just one point to their name after seven games.

Wow, I’m surprised her head stayed on her shoulders. She got OWNED, as they say Stateside. Noob. By the way, this isn’t funny – I posted it as a warning to all dads and uncles who think it’s safe to have a garden-based kickabout with kids in the area… Ok, it’s a little bit funny.

Who predicted that the most successful transfer of the summer would involve Shakhtar Donetsk and Man City? Not me, for one. But this Sven chap clearly knows his stuff – signing playmaker Elano Blumer has been a masterstroke. The Brazilian put in yet another man-of-the-match performance, in City’s 3-1 stroll against Middlesbrough yesterday. Elano is […]

‘Where’s your wooden spoons Gaz?’ asks Dave. ‘I haven’t a fooking clue’ is the gist of Gary’s answer. Excellent stuff from football’s oddest couple – this is taken from a documentary titled ‘The Real David Beckham’, which was shown on Sky about five years ago, if I remember rightly. Aw, what a lovely couple they […]

In a match that could be mirrored by the Rugby World Cup final, Argentina took on England in the final of the Gay World Cup at the end of last month. Unfortunately, the result was not what we wanted. Argentina’s Los Dogos defeated English title-holders Stonewall FC 1-0 in Buenos Aires. With their victory, Los […]

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Dean Ashton’s latest injury setback means England could once again be lacking in bulky link-up/target-men. One man who fits into this category who has never been given his chance at international level is Bolton’s Kevin Davies.

Meet Jo (full name: Joao Alves de Assis Silva), a Brazilian striker who plays for CSKA Moscow, sporting the ‘windswept crackhead’ look during a league game against FC Vladivostok at the weekend. Tame that hair Jo!

Yet another nomination from Pies reader Chringle. There’s definitely an element of shitness to this one, but I see where he’s coming from. Personally, I think Mikel Arteta looks more like a Mediterranean Michael Vaughan.

Brazilian striker Alfonso Alves, a reported target for Man Utd and several other Prem clubs, just added a nought or two to his value by scoring SEVEN goals for Heerenveen against SE Heracles this weekend – for the record, Heerenveen won the game 9-0: What’s the proper name for a double hat-trick plus one? I […]

Aston Villa 1-0 West Ham
Craig Gardner won the match for Villa, but Dean Ashton is now a doubt for England after picking up a knee injury.
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1 With Paul Robinson fumbling a shot to leave Andriy Voronin with an easy tap-in – and nearly giving another goal away later on – the Spurs keeper’s England place must be in doubt. He is clearly not the in-form English goalkeeper, so he should not be England number 1.

Pies is loving this ad, which I guess comes from Sweden or some other Scando country where it’s acceptable to show a guy photocopying his butt cheeks. This office worker has some awesome skills, although I kind of suspect that it’s a fake!

Watched by fellow football legend Johann Cruyff, Sir Bobby Charlton tees off at the Alfred Dunhill Links Championship. As well as Charlton and Cruyff, Ruud Gullit and Matt le Tissier are among the ex-pros who turned up to play in the tournament in Scotland. Photo Matthew Lewis/Getty Images

Okay, I’ve just done a post about Sepp Blatter and his idea to introduce a quota system into European football, whereby clubs could field no more than five foreigners. In the Prem, this would obviously mean that managers – yes, Arsene, that includes you – would have to sign loads more English players to ensure […]

Crazy Sepp Blatter wants a quota on foreign players in European teams; each club would only be allowed to have five foreign players in its starting XI. Blatter sees this as the solution to encouraging home-grown talent, but, honestly, we’re too far down the line to go back to such a quota system, and anyway […]

In which outspoken Aussie sports pundit Les Murray steams into Terry Butcher, former coach of Sydney FC. Things didn’t work out for Butcher Down Under and when he returned to the UK he had a pop at Sydney FC, calling them a ‘gypsy club’ and bemoaning the fact he couldn’t get a simple cup of […]

Games

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

October 5th, 2007

1 Atlético Paranaense, Manchester United, Besiktas, Flamengo (current). Whose career? 2 At the 2002 World Cup, which coach gave each of his players a copy of Sun Tze’s The Art of War? 3 Picture round. Who’s the angry young manager? 4 During his playing career, in which position did Sven-Goran Eriksson play? 5 How many […]

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The French are often stereotyped as lazy workers, but this is totally unjustified. On to this week’s Ligue 1 round-up. Erm… all the teams had the weekend off except two of France’s Champions League representatives who took the opportunity to fulfil some fixtures. Lyon stuck three past Lens to go top of the table (albeit Nancy are level on points with a game in hand). The other match was a distinctly mid-table affair which saw Caen beat Toulousse 2-1.

Right Pies fans, you’ve spent all week in front of this computer and it is about time you worked off a bit of that excess. We were going to get Mr Motivator in to give you a workout but he was already booked. So we got the next best thing: David Moyes. All together now: you put your left leg in…
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Have you been concerned that Ronaldinho has begun the great Brazilian tradition of piling on the pounds once you’ve got enough money to retire on? Don’t worry, it is probably just because of his other job. This FIFA 08 viral sees Ronny working as a chef in Brazil before some mute, but confident, Brazilian gamers request to see his moves.

This slightly weird video from Football365 shows Agent Peter Kenyon revealing his masterplan to topple Chelski from the inside after being sent to infiltrate them by General Sir Alex Ferguson!