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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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If you’re planning to play a Euro 2008 fantasy football game, here’s our tips for a winning XI… We allowed ourselves just two players from each nation, and in a 4-4-2 formation: GOALKEEPER Igor Akinfeev (Russia) Under Guus Hiddink, the Russian are very well-organised, and don’t tend to ship many goals. Plus, they’re in a […]

Following on from yesterday’s Top 15 Ugliest Players, today Pies brings you the Top 15 Sexiest Players, as chosen by a select panel of female fans (and my gay friend Nick). 15. Alessandro del Piero (Italy)

When peace and harmony deserts European Championship squads

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Spanish midfielder rescues win with lovely solo goal Spain beat USA 1-0 in Santander last night, thanks to this super goal by Barcelona star Xavi. The result saw Spain stretch its unbeaten run to 16 games.

German fans get their own anthem If you watch this video enough times, the chorus will get stuck in your brain, and not in a good way. I’m sure there’s a sly dig at the English not qualifying in there too, but my German is too rusty to figure out what it is exactly. Hit […]

The lowdown on the hard-to-pronounce Poles POLAND (Group B) Group mates Germany (8 June, Klagenfurt), Austria (12 June, Vienna), Croatia (16 June, Klagenfurt) Three most valuable players 1) Artur Borac Poland’s No.1 keeper is one of the most underrated in Europe; his back-ups, Tomasz Kuszczak and Lukasz Fabianski, are very good too. 2) Ebi Smolarek […]

This entertaining video shows Bayern Munich team-mates Franck Ribery and Luca Toni getting a bit patriotic in the run-up to their two countries meeting at Euro 2008. The duo try all sorts of tricks and contravene various Allianz Arena health and safety regulations in their game of one-upmanship.

They may be good at football, but look at the state of them… 15. Jakub Wawrzyniak (Poland)

With no England to back, which team will you cheer in Austria & Switzerland? Which team will you support at Euro 2008 ( polls)

Another four minutes of Euro trash Apparently, this is the “Official Song” of Euro 2008. Which means there are two official songs for the tournament: this, and Shaggy’s Like a Superstar, which we posted up yesterday. No idea why. Hit or Miss? It’s catchy in a euphoric, Euro-dance way, but it’s no World In Motion. […]

Meet the tournament favourites GERMANY (Group B) Group mates Poland (8 June, Klagenfurt), Croatia (12 June, Klagenfurt), Austria (16 June, Vienna) Three most valuable players 1) Michael Ballack An undeniable world-class act, and in fine form for his club in the last couple of months. Having missed the 2006 World Cup final in his homeland, […]

The greatest gear that Austria and Switzerland has to offer

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1. Holland away
Holland’s powder blue change strip continues the retro theme that Nike have maintained for the last three years or so. The KNVB is looking good as is the band around the chest.

A couple of vids from Jose’s first press conference in the Inter hot seat “I don’t want to be the Special One any longer…” More below…

Surely this spectacular volley from the Republic of Ireland’s Ronnie Whelan signalled the end of the Soviet Union. Or maybe not given that the USSR managed to draw this group game and force their way into the final. Yorkshire’s Mick McCarthy launches a long-throw in and ginger Dubliner Whelan does the rest. A Jack Charlton-era Republic of Ireland goal scored by someone born in Ireland. Priceless.

The first of several songs for the Euros This is just one of the official songs for Euro 2008. It’s slightly less annoying than Crazy Frog, but that’s about the highest praise we can give it. Pure Euro disco nonsense. Hit or miss? A huge, sliced miss into Row Z.

Italian captain injures ankle ligaments, will miss Euros Cannavaro, who led Italy to World Cup victory in 2006, has been ruled out of Euro 2008. The central defender will have surgery on his left ankle in Vienna so he can remain with Italy at the team’s training camp in Austria. It’s a big blow for […]

Do Jose’s job for him If you’ve just come back from a trip to the moon, you may not know that Jose Mourinho is Inter’s new manager. It’s good to see Jose back in football, although we’d have preferred it if he’d chosen to return to the Premier League – still, can’t wait for the […]

Tuesday’s hottest football gossip

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1. Roque Santa Cruz to Manchester United
Sir Alex Ferguson is to take advantage of Blackburn’s imminent loss of a manager to bid £15 million for their star striker. The move would represent a tidy return on the £3.5 million Rovers spent on the big Paraguayan last summer. [The Sun]

Can England’s conquerors go all the way? CROATIA (Group B) Group mates Austria (8 June, Vienna), Germany (12 June, Klagenfurt), Poland (16 June, Klagenfurt) Three most valuable players 1) Luka Modric Tottenham’s next saviour is a wonderfully gifted playmaker, with a fine eye for a pass. 2) Niko Kranjcar Had a fine season at Portsmouth. […]

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THEN: John Jensen’s inability to find the net became legendary during his time at Arsenal, and yet it was he who opened the scoring in the Euro 1992 final against Germany. The goal, it seemed, prompted Arsenal manager George Graham to move for Jensen, although the transfer later became embroiled in the bung investigation that saw Graham sacked. Jensen only scored one goal in his time with the Gunners, against QPR in his 98th match for the club. He had become the subject of the chant, “We’ll be there when Jensen scores” due to his bad luck in front of goal. He left Highbury in 1996, but played on for six years in his homeland with Brondby and Herfølge.

Our favourite goals from the Euro finals 1. Marco van Basten, Holland vs Russia, 1988 Pure technique, pure brilliance – and in the final too. The undisputed No.1.

Germany’s Oliver Bierhoff secured his nation’s victory at Euro 96 with the first-ever golden goal. He did literally get a helping hand from Czech goalkeeper Petr Kouba though. Not a spectacular goal, but a landmark moment nonetheless. And it certainly meant a lot to those German players.

Monday’s best football stories 1. Karim Benzema to Man Utd Fergie is preparing a £30m mega bid for the very highly rated Lyon striker. God help the rest of the league if the United boss gets his man. [Manchester Evening News] 2. Jose Mourinho to Inter Milan This is more than mere rumour now, it […]

The best snaps from yesterday’s friendly in Port of Spain T&T’s fans: prettier than England’s fans.

Pompey defender, putting the loon into pantaloons Here’s Sol in holiday mode, strolling along the French Riviera with his WAG Fiona Barratt, an interior designer to the stars. The white t-shirt is fine, the sandals are fine, the gold chain is fine (just about), the trousers are… sweet holy Jesus, look at the size of […]