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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Jens in danger of picking up Curly Monk nickname

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Co-hosts upset German neighbours with anthem mix-up A Swiss TV station has apologised for running the words of the Nazi version of Germany’s national anthem as subtitles to the current German anthem before their Euro 2008 group match against Austria. Both the Nazi version and the modern version come from the same song, Das Deutschlandlied. […]

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1. You can never write off the Germans, the Germans will also be there or thereabouts and, erm, you can’t keep a good German down. Roll out the cliches, the Germans are in the semis.

Tonight’s first quarter final is being billed as C-Ron vs Ballack. But is it as simple as that? Germany They looked mediocre in the group stages, apart from one solid win over Poland, and I don’t read too much into that, as Poland are terrible. Ballack and co. began Euro 2008 as tournament favourites – […]

Who failed to turn up? Here’s who… 1. Petr Cech (Czech Republic) Euro 2008 confirmed what I long suspected – that Cech has not been the same player since he fractured his skull in 2006. He still makes fine saves, but you can sense that he is reluctant to put his body completely on the […]

South American giants fail to score Brazil and Argentina drew 0-0 in last night’s World Cup qualifier, but at least they moved closer to leaders Paraguay, who lost 4-2 in Bolivia. Having lost 2-0 to Paraguay at the weekend, Brazil’s fans wanted blood against the Argentines, who are also out of form. They didn’t get […]

Arsene Wenger gets his man The next Zidane, eh. That would be Samir Nasri, the 20-year-old French midfielder who made a very brief cameo appearance from the bench against Italy, only to be taken off when Eric Abidal was shown a red card. Reports suggest that Nasri, currently a Marseille player (he joined them when […]

The teeny-bopper centre-back look

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1. What a difference an Arshavin makes. Russia with Andrei onboard looked absolutely irresistible. Sweden couldn’t do anything thwart the Russia attack.

Holland’s Rafael Van der Vaart is not supposed to be on the substitutes’ bench. He is obviously what they call a nervous watcher… as his Dutch team-mates will testify. The midfielder let one slip during last night’s match against Romania, and it was so bad it had his fellow subs grabbing their sweatshirts and bibs to cover their noses!

Tony Soprano’s enforcer vs Roberto Donadoni’s enforcer FURIO FACT! He’s one of the rare Sopranos characters that have been written out of the series without being killed. More lookalikes

The last thing Euro 2008 needs is a repeat of 2006 World Cup result As they’ve already proved with a big defeat to Holland, and narrow escapes against both Romania (Buffon’s late penalty save) and France (got to play majority of game against ten men), the 2008 Italy is nothing to be feared. Spain should […]

Six of the lowest centres of gravity to grace Austria and Switzerland (or else a bunch of short arses)

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1. Florentin Petre (Romania)
The 32-year-old winger is the shortest man in the competition at 5ft 5in. He is pictured above shortly before being trampled on by Fabio Grosso. The veteran currently plays in Bulgaria with CSKA Sofia.

Driver of France’s team coach, almost as bad as the players Raymond Domenech might have known that it wasn’t going to be his team’s night when the driver of the French team coach made about five attempts – never mind that he backed into the white car behind, twice! – to enter the stadium, albeit […]

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1. France were unlucky on the night, but overall they have got exactly what they deserved. They have not really got going in the three games and it is no surprise that they are going home.

Holland can play part in France & Italy’s demise. But should they? If Romania beat Holland this evening, France and Italy will go out of Euro 2008. That’s the simple equation. Normally, I’d favour the Dutch to beat the Romanians, but the thing is, they really don’t need to. Marco van Basten’s side are already […]

Mourinho wants Lamps for his new gang. No, Jose, no. Of all the players in the world that Inter could have at the top of their summer shopping list, they choose Frank Lampard. Does Frank have secret photos of Jose Mourinho doing unnatural things with John Terry? Inter’s president, Massimo Moratti, confirmed this week that […]

French team’s sponsors take a cheeky pop at Arjen Robben and co. Clever ad, but the French may be laughing the other side of the road if they’re knocked out by Holland this evening. We’d like to see a C-Ron Portuguese version too. [Via Grid Crasher]

You can’t keep a good Brazilian down, even at the Euros 1. Roger Guerreiro (Poland) The tricky winger was born in Sao Paulo in 1982. He had his Polish citizenship fast-tracked in April 2008, with the help of Poland’s head coach, Leo Beenhakker. More below…

All for one and one for Ballack

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Under-pressure Italian coach and maverick frontman share hair DNA The resemblance is uncanny. [Via When Saturday Comes]

South American giants humbled by smaller nations In this weekend’s round of qualifiers for the 2010 World Cup, Brazil lost 2-0 to Paraguay, and Argentina were lucky to grab a 1-1 draw at home to Ecuador – only a stoppage-time equaliser spared them the same fate as the Brazilians. Watch the action here: Paraguay 2-0 […]

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1. Germany are through after their scare but they don’t look particularly special. Only a moment of quality from Michael Ballack saw them through without a tense finale.

Germany face do-or-die showdown with Austria for place in quarter finals On paper, the Germans will easily get what they need to go through as runners-up to Croatia in Group B – Jogi Low’s men only need to draw with Austria this evening to progress to a quarter-final showdown against Portugal. In reality, a cup […]

Czech Republic fan and “friend” lament Euro exit I can only admire a man who has the time to facepaint an inflatable sex doll.