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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Who in the blazes is this? If you think you know, leave a comment with your answer. Yesterday’s answer: Roberto Di Matteo Mike P was first to get it, followed closely by Gary Andrews, DCDJ, Bikram and Tom P. Well done chaps. Kipp, get with it – Chris Sutton!?

Newcastle fan George Wright, 45, has got a big ole’ tattoo of Sir Bobby Robson’s face inked on his left thigh: What, a minute’s silence and a raised pint wasn’t enough for you, George? Now it’s like Sir Bob is chuckling at your cock. For the rest of your life. Newcastle fans really do put […]

“Are you sure this pose doesn’t look gay?” Quote of the day comes from A-Ha hearthrob Morten Harket, who revealed in an interview with Sky News that the band supports… drum roll… Stoke City! “When were kids Stoke was massive in Norway,” Morten explained. “We can give you the 1975 line-up, but I’m not sure […]

Alberto Aquilani, who is set to become Liverpool’s latest signing (subject to a medical), has played only 73 games in three seasons for current club Roma. His last appearance was on March 11, against Arsenal in the Champions League. Hmmm. Alarm bells going off… For all Aquilani’s talent – he’s razor-sharp on the ball and […]

The photo on the right was taken just last night, during Man City’s “friendly” at Rangers (City lost 3-2, btw). Bellamy, a former Celtic player, got a frightful amount of stick from the crowd, and he reacted by doing his usual impression of an angry little prick with a bad case of short man syndrome. […]

After the first leg of this CL qualifier, I thought Celtic were out. I was wrong and I’m happy to say that - Tony Mowbray deserves this result, which was Celtic’s first away win in the CL since 2003. Goals by Scott McDonald and sub Giorgios Samaras (a rare moment of magic by the Greek donkey […]

Little Mickey Owen missed several good chances to score on his Man Utd home debut, in last night’s friendly against Valencia. And in front of Fabio Capello too. At least Owen has Fergie in his corrner now: “He could have scored four, should have scored four,” United’s manager said after the game. “But his movement […]

As if the poor old corner flag doesn’t already take enough punishment (from the likes of Tim Cahill), now some Dutch player comes along and uproots it. Ja, screw de cornervlag! Good to see that Schteve McClaren saw the funny side, although I bet last night’s Champions League exit wiped the smile off his face: […]

People often bemoan the lack of genuine hardmen in football today, but to be fair to modern players, every time they play there are 25 cameras following their every move. Plus football has become, if not a non-contact sport, then very much weighted towards the attackers. Small wonder that villains like Ron “Chopper” Harris, Tommy […]

Ah, so now we know why Jozy Altidore is in England. This just in from Jozy’s Twitter feed: So much for being discreet! Hull City’s first Premier League match this season is at Chelsea on 15 August. Therefore I conclude that Altidore is about to announce a move to the Tigers. (Chelsea play Man Utd […]

An anxious-looking Xabi Alonso gives the thumbs-up, reluctantly, during the traditional “medical ritual” that Real Madrid puts its new players through. It’s like a sort of hazing. Perhaps Xabi was worried that the doctor would discover his ginger pubes? [@ Off the Post] MORE XABI How much is Rafa Benitez to blame for the departure […]

Jozy Altidore is in England. How do we know? He’s said as much on his Twitter profile: What does this mean? Putting 2+2 together, it obviously means that he’s in England because he’s set for a move from Villarreal to the Premier League. Clubs who might sign the young American: Hull City, Everton, Fulham, Burnley. […]

1. Barcelona to make £12m bid for Jonny Evans? Nah, can’t see it. [@ Football Corner] 2. Who Ate All the Pies ranks second in the bloggers’ league! Does that mean we qualify for the bloggers’ Champions League? [@ Twofootedtackle] 3. Freddie Ljungberg’s migraine: “I couldn’t see my boots.” [@ Sounders FC blog] 4. Sir […]

Nice profile piece on Deuce. I love this guy’s laidback drawl… MORE DEUCE Top 10 footballers who rap

So who’s the Chelsea player with the ball for a head? (Click image to enlarge) Leave a comment with your answer. Monday’s answer: Steve Stone David Allison not only knew that it was Steve Stone, but even named the correct match. Sterling work, David. Shout-outs to Oller and MattyDub for also getting it right.

I was trawling through Press Association’s photo archive and came across these amazing pics of a couple of young footballers who were clearly very much in love… Heart-meltingly beautiful. MORE FOOTBALL LOVE STORIES John Terry and Frank Lampard: a football love story, in photos Cristiano Ronaldo and Ole-Gunnar Solskjaer Christian Vieri and Paolo Maldini Xabi […]

In which professional geezer/West Ham fan/shit actor/twat Danny Dyer takes one in the “north and sarf” (mouth): “That’s a powerful tool, that…” You are, Danny. You are. Most enjoyable.

This is where you get to pick Tottenham’s best starting line-up for this season. First up, I’l dazzle you (ahem) with my selection (based on Spurs’ squad at time of writing)… My XI, played in a fairly standard 4-4-2 formation: Huerelho Gomes Vedran Corluka, Jonathan Woodgate, Ledley King, Benoit Assou-Ekotto Aaron Lennon, Wilson Palacios, Jermaine […]

Shaq has been calling out Becks on Twitter. On July 29, the LA Lakers star Tweeted: “Its official, today is david beckham is scared of shaq, day, he should b scared, he can never score a goal on me,” Nice grammar there Shaq. Now Shaq has challenged Beckham, in a video captured by gossip website […]

Yes, lots of Xabi posts today, but like so many fans, Pies always had a bit of a man crush on him… The reasons to miss Xabi keep on coming… In this vid he comes across as, well, just a top bloke. And he’s not so immodest that he won’t admit that he’s one of […]

The beginning of the end for Xabi Alonso at Liverpool occurred a couple of seasons ago, when Xabi Alonso decided – quite rightly, in my view – to miss a Champions League match to attend the birth of his first child. That was the moment when relations between Rafa Benitez and Xabi soured, and the […]

Liverpool fans, I feel your pain. To mark the sad passing of Senor Xabi (more on which later today), Pies offers up a gallery of some of his finest moments in a Liverpool shirt. Click the image below to see the photos (right-click to enlarge - you know, in case any of you wants a commemorative […]

Proof that Aston Villa’s new signing looks suspiciously like one of Villa’s former players. As spotted by… me. Go me. Got a lookalike for the Pies? Email me with your shout.

Congratulations to Richard Wilkinson of Waterlooville, who wins a hardback copy of Grant Wahl’s “The Beckham Experiment”. Richard was the only Pies reader to correctly identify all three Man Utd players: 1. Paul Scholes 2. Teddy Sheringham 3. Clayton Blackmore Quite a few of you got two out of three. For example, regular Baller David […]

Joleon Lescott wants to leave Everton. Their new home kit has been cited as a key factor Seriously though, can you really blame Lescott for being tempted by a contract that is at least twice as fat as the one he’s currently picking up? Of course not. After all, he left Wolves before to go […]