• Man United chasing Adriano? August 10th, 2006 Man Utd

    Man United are after a replacement for Ruud Rum, and let’s be honest, there’s not many who can match his strike rate. The latest from the rumour mill is that Sir Alex is chasing after Adriano, the most un-Brazillian striker in the world… but he aint half good. Mof Gimmers

  • Chelsea apparently break off from Cole talks August 10th, 2006 Arsenal

    So the Cashley Cole saga drags on. This seems to have been going on longer than Big Brother, and somehow, it’s managed to be more farcical. "Our offer is an excellent offer for an excellent player. It’s in their hands. They say no and no is no," said Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho in the latest […]

  • David James wants City exit August 10th, 2006 Man City

    David James wants out! He wants to leave Man City, and is looking like he wants a move to Pompey. Stuart Pearce has said to the BBC "David has expressed a wish to leave. I spoke with him when we were away in China. It is not an issue about Manchester City, there are other […]

  • Video of Ronaldo getting abuse at Oxford August 9th, 2006 Man Utd

    We’re going to play a game. First, press play on the YouTube video below and close your eyes. See if you can guess when Christiano Ronaldo gets the ball in Man Yoo’s friendly against Oxford… Mof Gimmers

  • Rooney and Scholes available for season opener August 9th, 2006 Man Utd

    Good news Man United fans, bad news everyone else. Wayne Rooney and Paul Scholes are available to start the season after their sendings off in the friendly against Porto. The friendly was played in Holland and the Dutch FA’s report to its English counterparts was delayed in the post, so the duo can play on […]

  • Kevin Keegan given ‘the world’s fastest haircut’ August 9th, 2006 Horror Hair

    Trevor Mitchell has just broken his own Guinness record for ‘world’s fastest haircut’, snipping (ho ho) his previous best by 12 seconds to a barely believable 59 seconds. If you’re wondering what this has to do with football, Mitchell’s victim model was none other than Kevin Keegan. The pair have known each other since Mitchell […]

  • 10 Biggest Divas in the Premiership August 9th, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    I think footballers are like footballs (stick with me on this): They used to be hard ‘n’ solid and made of thick leather. You wouldn’t mess with one. Today, however, they’re made of fancy plastic and fly about all over the place. Yes, 21st-century footballers are a motley crew of lightweight divas and overhyped divers. […]

  • Cristiano Ronaldo: Winky Returns August 9th, 2006 Man Utd

    Cristiano Ronaldo has had his first run-out since the World Cup. Boo, hiss, he’s behind you etc. Winky played for 72 minutes of Man U’s 4-1 friendly win against Oxford, and scored a couple of tasty goals with curling shots. Apart from a few boos (Man U fans cheered him, natch) from the panto-loving Oxford […]

  • Thierry Henry demands new signings at Arsenal August 9th, 2006 Arsenal

    Does he indeed? The cheeky sod. It’s a sad sign of the shift in power in football when a top player feels free to go to the national press – The Sun, in this case – and demand his manager makes some new signings. I respect Thierry Henry, but this outburst serves only to undermine […]

  • The Burning Question: Which new signing will be the biggest flop this season? August 9th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    A lot of clubs have shelled out a lot of cash on new players for the coming Premiership season. Because, as all managers say these days, if you stay still you get left behind. I agree with that to a certain extent, but I’m also a great believer in continuity – to this day I […]

  • Dean Kiely: David James is a ‘Hollywood-type showbiz keeper with a massive ego’ August 8th, 2006 Man City

    Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp wants to bring veteran keeper David James to Fratton Park. Pompey’s current first-choice keeper Dean Kiely isn’t happy about this. In fact, he’s very pissed off. Kiely told the Portsmouth News: ‘I think it would be a little bit of a travesty, certainly on the back of what I did last […]

  • Predict the Premiership table game August 8th, 2006 Kits & fashion

    OK, here’s a fun little game called PredictTheTable. The rules are simple: predict what the final Premiership order will be come the end of the season. Your mates do the same and you compare results with them to see who does the best. Whoever gets more points, wins. It’s free to enter, so check it […]

  • Gary Lineker’s grandfather August 8th, 2006 Lookalikes

    Found this image of Gary Lineker’s grandfather on the net. The family resemblance is uncanny…

  • Liverpool avoid playing in war-torn Israel August 8th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    Uefa has confirmed that Liverpool will play their Champions League qualifier against Maccabi Haifa at a neutral ground. The match was wisely switched because of the ongoing conflict in the Israel. The UEFA statement read that "Uefa has decided no European competition matches can be staged in Israel until further notice." The tie may now […]

  • Franck Ribery – On his way to the Premiership? August 8th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    Rumours are rife of Franck Ribery’s move to the Premiership. Both Man Urinal and The Gooners have been sniffing around, despite statements to the contrary. He’s certainly an exciting prospect and would fit in at any of the top clubs. Here’s why. Mof Gimmers Technorati Tags Ribery Man United Arsenal

  • Wenger wants Cole decision by end of the week August 8th, 2006 Arsenal

    It would seem that Arsene Wenger reads Who Ate All The Pies. Why? Yesterday I wrote about my longing for Cashley Cole to sort himself out, and just bugger off to Chelsea. Well, Arsene said "I do not know what will happen with Ashley Cole in the next few days, but for me certainly the […]

  • Are Peter Reid and Joe Pesci the same person? F**k yes August 8th, 2006 Lookalikes

    This video puts me in mind of Peter Reid and that fly-on-the-wall Sunderland documentary, when every other word uttered began with f and ended in k. Peter Reid is obviously the Joe Pesci of British football – and if that isn’t a gratuitous reason to post a Scorsese clip on a football blog, I don’t […]

  • Hearts 2 : 1 Celtic, highlights August 8th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    Watch out for little Gordon Strachan, giving lie to the stereotype that all short, ginger men are feisty…

  • Bye Bye Borgetti say Bolton August 7th, 2006 Bolton Wanderers

    It’s looking like Mexico’s top goalscorer (ever) is making his way out of the Bolton camp, and decamping to the lucrative and sunny Saudi Arabia. Jared Borgetti is set to sign for some team no-one’s heard of (Al Ittihad for the record… I told you that you won’t have heard of ’em). Bolton gaffer, Big […]

  • Authentic 1966 stuffed World Cup Willy mascot. Yours for just £3,712.65 August 7th, 2006 Kits & fashion

    Would you pay almost four grand for a ragged little World Cup Willy mascot? Me neither. I suppose it’s 40 years old and a genuine souvenir from the 1966 World Cup, which makes it something of a collectors’ antique, but four grand seems a bit steep. I’d pay 30 quid for it, maybe. Available now […]

  • Ashley Cole left out of Arsenal’s squad for Europe August 7th, 2006 Arsenal

    For some reason, I can’t find any pictures of Ashley Cole in a Chelsea shirt. You may well be saying "Aaaaaahhh… but he plays for Arsenal…". Well I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t think it would you?  You see, Cole is in the centre of one of the most drawn out transfer sagas ever. The latest […]

  • Ace Spoof of Rooney and Ronaldo’s first meet up August 7th, 2006 Man Utd

    Well, we’ve all been speculating about Rooney’s first encounter with Winker Ronaldo ahven’t we? We, the folks at BubbleWrap TV have unearthed some footage of the moment the two met, right from the build up of the first text sent by the Portugese Man O’Dives. Mof Gimmers

  • HolloWatch August 7th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    We all know that the greatest character in British football today is Ian ‘Ollie’ Holloway. He also happens to be manager of my beloved Plymouth Argyle, which means he’ll be appearing in Who Ate All the Pies with alarming regularity. I’d rather listen to a 90-minute post-match press conference involving Holloway than watch Chelsea play, […]

  • Beckham: Fergie called me a ‘f**king liar’ August 7th, 2006 Man Utd

    David Beckham has revealed Sir Alex Ferguson has spoken just five words to him since leaving Man Utd in 2003 and that the Scot called him a ‘fucking liar’ as their crumbling relationship culminated in a transfer to Real Madrid. The five words? ‘How are things over there [Madrid]?’ Fergie said this to Becks as […]

  • Good weekend, Bad weekend August 7th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    Good WeekendHearts Proved their SPL title credentials with a 2-1 win over Celtic.Barry Conlon The Darlington striker, returning to the club for a second spell, scored the only hat-trick in England, as Darlo thrashed Macclesfield 4-0.Hernan Crespo The want-away Chelsea star returned to his beloved Italy, to Inter Milan on a free transfer. Happy now […]