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Who ate all the pies

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Why sign another overpriced midfielder? David Bentley is a good Premier League player. He’s not worth £15m, but that’s another story. Put it this way: none of the big four wanted him, including Arsene Wenger, who ditched him in the first place (albeit with regret). Tottenham would have been better off spending the money earned […]

Keano’s happier than a pig in shit Things we learned that we already knew: 1) Liverpool are a “massive club”. 2) Robbie Keane supports Liverpool. 3) Robbie Keane is 28. 4) Robbie Keane always gives “110%”. 5) Robbie Keane will never forget… er, that London team he used to play for.

Liverpool’s new striker “links up” with Nando Torres This is the start of a beautiful friendship. Premier League defences, beware – you can’t tackle true love. [With Leather, via Kickette]

Today’s news, rumours & morsels Top five hottest women in the USA national team [Save the intern] Ex-con Joey Barton loses lucrative Nike boot deal [The Sun] David Bentley set for White Hart Lane medical after Spurs increase bid to £15m. [Telegraph] Aston Villa’s attempts to compete with the salary Gareth Barry would receive if […]

Shiny new players, in shiny new kits Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

G-Nev vs fighty Batman star Gary is like an uglier, wonky-nosed version of Bale, but you can see the resemblence, no? More Shit lookalikes

It’s happened again… What happened to the goalkeepers’ union? It’s just bad form to embarrass another goalie like this.

Has anyone seen this man’s hair? Seems like Stephen Ireland had enough of the wig jokes and decided to break out the clippers. Wise move.

Something about seeing the words “Reg Vardy” in this environment made me laugh Childish, yes. Funny, ditto.

Newcastle are fools to stand by Barton Joey Barton is a dick, a yob, a violent criminal, a nasty piece of work… whatever, he’s the sort of Neanderthal you look to avoid on a Friday night out, because you know he has a short fuse. Kevin Keegan has given him a second chance, but how many […]

Keane is the final piece in Rafa Benitez’s puzzle I’ve noticed that on a lot of football forums, both Liverpool and Spurs fans are claiming that Robbie Keane is past it; Spurs fans say it because they’re sad to see him go, Liverpool fans say it because perhaps they would rather sign a younger buck […]

Tuesday’s tastiest soccer snacks Fergie may make shock £15m swoop for Thierry Henry, says the Daily Star William Gallas admits last season’s tantrum at Birmingham was a “mistake”. [Independent] Sven-Goran Eriksson should slap on some sunblock… [Monterrey Offside] Has Owen Hargreaves broken up with his WAG? [Kickette] Arsenal bang ten goals past Burgenland in friendly. […]

Premier League champs beat FA Cup holders in Africa Goals by Carlos Tevez, who also missed a penalty, and Chris Eagles saw United beat Pompey in a lively encounter in Abuja. Jermain Defoe scored an 89th-minute consolation for Harry Redknapp’s team. Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

Villa 1-0 Odense Great solo goal by Ashley Young to win the tie. More videos after the jump:

Villa reach final round of qualifiers This was a far more comfortable win than the score suggests, but any delight felt by Martin O’Neill in winning the tie will have been tempered by Wilfred Bouma’s dislocated ankle (see picture). It was a very nasty injury, and the Dutch defender will surely be out for several […]

Berby vs not-particularly-funny comedian Thanks to Charlie Constantinou for the fine spot. More Shit lookalikes

This week’s most popular posts on Pies Valon Behrami’s new WAG has the hotness Player booked for cynical foul on pitch invader Top six horse-face footballers C-Ron’s amazing mahogany legs Chelsea too old to win the title? Top six ridiculous Djibril Cisse looks

Shorts and flip-flops vs riot shields and batons… who you got? Take that, feisty lady dressed in flimsy summer clothes! [With Leather]

Could you keep a straight face? Fcb trikot the musicalUploaded by goalbumbum In future, all news kits will be launched using the power of interpretive dance and hot models. For now, stand up and take a bow, Bayern Munich – you are truly pioneers. [Bundesliga Offside]

Games

The Super Shirt Quiz

July 25th, 2008

Name the six clubs from these photos. Some are current strips, some from days gone by… Answers after the jump (no cheating)…

Villa captain booed during reserve game, but does he deserve it? Barry was booed and jeered by a section of Villa fans when he played for their reserves against Walsall a few days ago – the fact that Barry ended up at the Bescot was a sign that Martin O’Neill wanted to make an example […]

Friday’s news balls Spanked by Yanks West Ham lost 3-2 to David Beckham’s MLS All-Stars. [The Spoiler] Unsafe hands Spurs keeper Paul Robinson off to Blackburn in a £3.5m deal. Robbo will replace Brad Friedel, who is off to Aston Villa. [Mirror] The Joy of Cesc Fabregas visits Disneyland, wears Mickey Mouse-themed wizard’s hat. [Kickette] […]

C-Ron’s tan reaching dangerous levels The Offside has noticed, brilliantly, that C-Ron is turning into an Oompa Loompa, and we don’t disagree. He’s also starting to look like a Guido. If you’re not aware of Guidos (see photo, left, for example), Urban Dictionary describes them as follows: “A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not […]

Hibs torn apart in Pep Guardiola’s first match as Barca boss Having already been knocked out of the InterToto Cup earlier this month, Hibs’ confidence is clearly low – not a great time to face Barcelona then. The vistiors gave their hosts a football lesson. Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

Chelsea kick off China tour with easy win Chelsea’s goals came from Salomon Kalou, Frank Lampard (a lovely chip from 20 yards), Franco di Santo and Shaun Wright-Phillips. The only negative for the tourists was a first-half injury to new boy Jose Boswinga. In other Chelski news, the club has reportedly offered Lampard the deal […]