10 Current Premier League Players Who Would Be Nailed On For An England ‘B’ Cap

Chris Wright

19th, November 2018


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Inspired by a cracking Set Pieces article we perused today, Pies got to thinking about the England B team of yore and how, in a right and just world, the concept would be reinstated immediately.

Basically, the B team was exactly that: a semi-officially recognised chance for your second stringers – your Dave Beasants, your Tony Dorigos, your Gary Pallisters, Brian Deanes, your Chris Suttons, etc – to have a bash at international football.

A mainstay during the 1980s/90s, the whole thing has been defunct since 2007, but we reckon it’s high time to give it another bash, if only to give these lads a bit of a run-out at Wembley…

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Mark Noble

Just like Kevin Nolan before him, Noble has been a model of chin-jutting consistency for West Ham for many years without quite possessing that little extra *something* to bump him up into that next echelon.

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Andrew Surman

Perfectly decent player in the ‘Steady Eddie’ mould, Surman would slot in nicely once Noble is chuffing out of his backside with 65 minutes gone.

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Troy Deeney

The spiritual successor to the likes of Deane and Sutton in that ‘physical handful’ role up top, Deeney has been the recipient of lots of prospective England calls for many years without ever actually receiving one from anybody whose opinion matters.

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Danny Drinkwater

Drinksy and Nobes running that midfield together in a 2-0 win over Andorra. Try telling us that doesn’t sound like pure footballing nirvana.

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Carl Jenkinson

One of those players that you can never quite remember who he’s playing for at the moment, Jenkinson could have been a 10-cap England B man by now if the universe had been a little kinder to him.

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James Tomkins

The Crystal Palace defender has all the hallmarks of a 90s England back-up centre-half: stout, sturdy, committed – but sadly looks just a little too much like Russell Brand to be taken seriously at international level.

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Jack Cork

Cork had brief flirtations with a couple of England squads at the tail end of last year (earning a cap with a four-minute cameo against Germany in November) but it would appear that that particular phase is emphatically over.

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Mark Albrighton

An important part of Leicester City’s title win, Albrighton can deliver a mean cross and effect certain Premier League games without quite possessing the quality and consistency to nudge him ahead of the entrenched England mainstays.

See also: Gray, Demarai.

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Jonjo Shelvey

Nailed on. The Newcastle midfielder often skirts around a patch of dazzling form for a month or so at a time before sliding back into anonymous mediocrity, making him the perfect foil for this England B midfield.

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Danny Ings

Continuing the 90s tactical theme, we’re thinking Big Man (Deeney) – Little Man (Ings) would be the ideal strike combo made in heaven for the Three Lions II (with Glenn Murray cruelly overlooked at all costs, naturally).

All managed to glory by Harry Redknapp, of course.

Anybody we’ve missed? Feel free to call up your own suggestions into the squad…

Posted in England, Featured, Top 10s & lists

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  1. jackie wilshere says:

    decent little list but my god where did you find that pic of Troy Deeney?? haha

  2. Josh says:

    “Drinksy and Nobes running that midfield together in a 2-0 win over Andorra. Try telling us that doesn’t sound like pure footballing nirvana.”

    Oh fuck… this is great stuff.

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