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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Giggsy has his work cut out here Ryan Giggs (Man Utd) Giggsy is very well respected in Europe, I’d say more so than any British player of the last 15 years. He’s now coming to the end of his illustrious career, but he’s still worth his place in United’s starting line-up (just). I doubt he’ll […]

Cheeky boy Remember Lee Sharpe? Before Ryan Giggs burst on the scene, Sharpe was United’s poster boy. He was a fine player, but his main problem was a) he liked to party, and b) he just wasn’t as good as Giggs. In the end, he’ll be remembered as just another Englishman who didn’t fulfil his […]

Vote on this crucial midfield battle Anderson (Man Utd) It would be unfair to call Anderson a headless chicken – he is a more intelligent player than that - but he does have a tendency to run around like a man who left his brain in the changing room. That could be a good or bad […]

Time for United’s quiet man to step up Michael Carrick (Man Utd) Carrick is the football equivalent of a Saab – he’s classy and efficient but a bit dull. That’s not a criticism. I’m a huge fan of Carrick, and still think he doesn’t get as much credit as he deserves. He makes United tick, […]

Et tu, Fergie? Italian capital living up to “stab city” reputation A Man Utd fan has been stabbed in Rome ahead of tonight’s Champions League final. Greg Wheldon, 34, suffered a knife wound to his left leg after being ambushed as he walked to his hotel near the Vatican early this morning. According to reports, […]

What the teams will be wearing in Rome Manchester United With Barcelona awarded official home team status in the CL final, Man Utd have chosen to wear an all-white kit (C-Ron can see if he likes playing in all white) with blue trim. The last time the two sides met in a European final, in […]

English fans of “Anyone But United” want Barcelona to win. Is that a good thing? As I write this post with Radio 5 Live on in the background, all I can hear is angry Scousers and Gooners, talking bitterly about how much they want Man United to lose tonight’s Champions League final. Yep, the Anyone […]

Ex-Arsenal full-back to deputise for suspended Abidal? Patrice Evra (Man Utd) Evra is the best left-back in the Premier League, and one of the best in the world. Most importantly, he has recovery pace to burn, so when he does make mistakes he almost always gets away with them. Comfortable on the ball, and never […]

He comes from Serbia, he’ll fookin’ murder ya Nemanja Vidic (Man Utd) United’s Player of the Year, as voted for by his team-mates and the club’s fans, makes the perfect foil for Rio Ferdinand. The Serb is a footballing Terminator who absolutely will not stop when it comes to doing his defensive duties. If Barcelona […]

Will Rio merk his former team-mate? Rio Ferdinand (Man Utd) Ferdinand is one of the best centre-backs in the world, and he’s now at his peak. There’s nothing he lacks really, but he tends to lose concentration at times – though not often enough for me to label it as an obvious weakness. The one […]

Battle of the right-backs John O’Shea (Man Utd) The much maligned Irishman will never win a place in United’s Hall of Fame, but Alex Ferguson trusts him, and that vote of confidence means a lot to a player. I’m sure it’s no accident that Fergie endorsed O’Shea’s place in the starting line-up before that of […]

Throughout the day, Pies will look closely at the respective teams of United and Barca. We begin at the beginning, with the No.1s Edwin van der Sar (Man Utd) The Dutch veteran has enjoyed a vintage season, breaking Petr Cech’s Prem record for minutes played without conceding a goal. He’ll be 40 next year though, […]

C-Ron’s giant ego separates into two beautiful, tanned parts Well, looks like Ronny is definitely staying in Manchester. You heard it from the man himself. Great scoop, er, Ronny. [@ Dirty Tackle]

Berby finds true fame, ITV capitalises on Champions League fever In an upcoming episode of Corrie, Jason Grimshaw (no idea who he is) argues with Sean Tully (no idea who he is either) and his new love interest Leon (OK, so Sean is gay, I’m guessing). Jason opens up with this gem: “Say what you […]

“The Chaaaaampions…” (sings the theme tune) With the Champions League final little more than 24 hours away, Pies rounds up 25 of the finest strikes the competition has ever seen. Because you’re worth it… 25. Mancini, ROMA v Lyon This goal always makes me smile. It’s like a Pro Evolution Soccer goal, complete with opponent-baiting […]

The build-up to Man Utd v Barcelona starts with shit lookalikes Andres Iniesta and Count Duckula This is really shit, I admit, but there’s something in the mouth that make it work. Maybe.

Today’s links are brought to you by the glory of Michael Thomas 1. Twenty years ago today, Arsenal won some trophy at Anfield. “It’s up for grabs now!” Yeah, you remember it… [@ Arseblog] 2. Ten million fake football shirts seized by German customs. [@ Football Shirt Culture] 3. Dimitar Berbatov: It’s not easy to look […]

WARNING: this is bad Mpumalanga Black Aces have apologised for a horror tackle by Felix Muamba-Musasa that broke the leg of Carara Kicks’ Oupa Ngulube, during the NFD play-offs in South Africa. It really is the worst break I’ve seen on a football pitch, worse even than Eduardo’s. I hate watching stuff like this (I […]

Who didn’t last the course? Deco (Chelsea) It all started as planned: Deco scored a screamer on his Chelsea debut, at home to Pompey in the August sunshine, but it was quickly downhill after that. The Ronnie Corbett-faced Brazilian has been unlucky with a string of niggling injuries, but in no way can he be […]

Milan living legend bows out to the sound of jeers and whistles. He didn’t deserve this Paolo Maldini is the greatest defender of his generation, perhaps of all time. His career at Milan (he was a loyal, one-club man) spanned 24 years; Ryan Giggs would have to play at Man Utd for another six seasons […]

Hollers is back, and about time too “What I wanna do now is relationships. You see, the way I look at it, I almost had an affair… I ran off with another bird, didn’t I? Which was Leicester and she didn’t like me, she didn’t want me, she threw me out. And I’d say sorry […]

Win a DVD box-set!! Here’s Stevie G at the Cannes Festival, supporting old mate Neil Fitzmaurice (Ray Von in Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights). Fitzmaurice was in France to promote his new film, Charlie Noades RIP, while Stevie tagged along for the ride (or perhaps because he loves yachts). The best caption for this picture wins […]

The headline and story don’t quite fit Like many people, I made the mistake of clicking on Soccervoice.com’s tantalising story titled: “Man Utd to make signing of the century”. Was Messi heading for Old Trafford, I wondered? Or Kaka, or Ribery? Or a re-animated Duncan Edwards, even? I had to know… … Like many people, […]

I thought this would be more enjoyable Like many neutral fans, I really wanted Newcastle to go down – because I knew it would be very enjoyable to see such a “massive” (translation: deluded) club drop down to the Championship, where they would face ingnominious, reality-check trips to outposts like Doncaster, Plymouth and Swansea. And […]

Suits you, Sir (Alex) It’s a grey suit, get over it.