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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Scottish giants out of Europe already Rangers slumped to a dismal 2-1 defeat at FBK Kaunas, meaning their European campaign is over in August – there is no drop into the Uefa Cup to fall back on. Honestly, if you can’t beat a mediocre team from Lithuania at home, you don’t deserve anything – thing […]

Beck stays on the fence, avoids Fergie’s wrath In which our David adds his two cents to the Neverending Story that is the C-Ron transfer saga. And no, we don’t know why he’s holding a surfboard.

You only sing when you’re not coughing

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I just called to say… those sunglasses went out of fashion in about 1990

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Top of the morning to you… West Ham reject Tottenham’s £15m offer for Dean Ashton. Spurs dodged a bullet there [Guardian] The C-Ron saga is finally over, says Fergie. The boy’s staying [BBC] The long-term future of Man City is in doubt after it emerged that owner Thaksin Shinawatra has explored the possibility of selling […]

Alex Ferguson gets one over on son Darren An own goal from Posh defender Russell Martin broke the deadlock just before half-time, before substitute Darron Gibson smashed home a great second for the visitors. Fergie (senior) was especially pleased with the performance of new Brazilian full-backs, Rafael and Fabio. The United boss said: “The young […]

Pies has it figured out… Why do you think C-Ron spent most of his summer on a sun lounger, slowly turning the colour of Nutella? It’s obvious now: because he wanted to look as good as possible in the all-white kit of Real Madrid; everyone knows that white shows off a tan nicely. Oh, and […]

C-Ron is not coming back to Manchester According to Portuguese newspaper A Bola, Real Madrid have already set a date to present Cristiano Ronaldo to the world – and that date is August 15th. Put it in your diary. Madrid have reportedly offered €75 million to Man Utd for Ronaldo, a sum that they believe […]

Spurs transfer target v annoying reality TV “star” Remember Anthony Hutton, the vain Geordie with a pea-sized brain? I hope not – there’s absolutely no reason for you to. More shit (translation: amazing) lookalikes

You’ll never brawl alone

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Craig Bellamy is under investigation (again), this time for a row with a West Ham. Here are six of his best bust-ups

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Who’s done the best business in the off-season? Here’s who… 10 Brad Friedel (Blackburn to Aston Villa) He’s not far off 40 years old, but Hellboy is still one of the best ‘keepers around. The rest of the list after the jump…

Tuesday’s soccer-shaped smorgasbord Real Madrid midfielder Wesley Sneijder’s knee injury will rule him out for three months, a relief to the player who had feared a longer absence. Tests showed Sneijder did not tear ligaments when he was challenged by Arsenal’s Abou Diaby in a friendly. [Canadian Press] Alex Ferguson is a secret film buff […]

Posh v fictional luckdragon Uncanny, huh. Spotted at Totallylookslike.com

Wenger wants Liverpool midfielder, but not for £18m asking price If Gareth Barry arrives to Anfield (90% certain now), Rafa Benitez will probably let Xabi Alonso go to Arsenal. And he should. Liverpool are asking for £18m for the Spanish midfielder, a frankly silly price which Arsene Wenger is reluctant to pay, rightly. Alonso’s value […]

The best pics from the weekend’s friendly action

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Paul Scharner is a fairly happy chappy. So happy, in fact, that he has just penned a new two-year deal at Wigan Athletic. But niggling away at the back of the big Austrian’s mind is the idea that there is something bigger out there for him: that there is more to life than popping up with the occasional goal for the Latics.

Nicolas Anelka fills his boots against sluggish Italians Some clownish goalkeeping by Milan’s giant Aussie, Zeljko Kalac, helped Chelsea rack up five goals against the Serie A team in Moscow at the weekend. Nicolas Anelka helped himself to four, with Frank Lampard also on the scoresheet. A great result for Chelsea’s self-confidence, but you can’t […]

Half a dozen players with a penchant for slobbering on their shirt

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1. Emmanuel Adebayor
Got stuck in to his Arsenal badge after scoring against Real Madrid yesterday. That was despite rumours he has been seeking a move to AC Milan all summer and/or using such rumours to hold the club to ransom over a pay rise.

2″OLE”GEND takes a well-deserved bow Man Utd legend Ole Gunnar Solskjaer had his testimonial at the weekend, against Espanyol. He came on for the last 20-odd minutes and despite his dodgy knees, still showed enough class to remind fans inside Old Trafford why he will always be remembered as a true United legend. I’ve written […]

This crazy game involves helping wantaway Cristiano Ronaldo to escape from hospital and the clutches of Sir Alex Ferguson to land his dream move to Real Madrid. The basic premise is that you use the elastic supporting C-Ron’s knackered ankle to catapult him through the hospital window, picking up as many wads of cash as possible on the way. Real Madrid helicopters are on hand to give you an extra lift along, but beware Fergie the Red Baron who will offer friendly pointers such as: “It’s back to the slave boat for you, son.” Click here to play Ronaldo2Real.

Sepp Twatter claims misquote Sepp Blatter has now denied ever saying his infamous Cristiano Ronaldo slavery quote. “I have never said that Ronaldo is a slave,” Blatter told reporters on Wednesday during a visit to Vietnam. “But I said slavery with young people, youngsters that European clubs are trying to get 13, 14 and 15 […]

Games

The Super Shirt Quiz

August 1st, 2008

Name the six clubs from these photos. Some are current strips, some from the past…

Given the cold shoulder by England and Spurs, Blackburn’s new £3.5 million signing Paul Robinson has been making lots of noises about rebuilding his career. But this video evidence of his Rovers debut make it look like Robbo is continuing as he finished at White Hart Lane. The mighty Northwich Victoria are the team making the former England number one look a mug.

Coach judges dreads too distracting

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