The clean-living Cliff Richard of Brazilian football vs the clean-living pin-up boy of English cricket. I can hardly tell them apart.

I was sure this wasn’t going to be quite this shit, but actually, it is pretty shit. In my head, Desperate Dan has a gap in his teeth, like Carson. Not in reality though. Still, the facial hair is a pretty good match.

After Kath’s not-shit-at-all lookalike last time up, I thought we needed to return to a genuinely shit entry. And here it is. Think you can do better (I’m sure you can). Email Pies with your suggestion

Yanic Truesdale is a Canadian actor best known for his portrayal of Michel Gerard in the TV series Gilmore Girls, which I can safely say I’ve never watched. I have watched Gabby Agbonlahor though, scampering down the wing as fast as his little legs will take him. Cheers to Kath McPherson for sending this one [...]

You do the maths… Comedian Ryan Stiles (a Who’s Line Is It Anyway? stalwart) plus Jeff Boomhauer (Hank Hill’s mumbling neighbour from King of the Hill) = which footballer? Answer after the jump…

Great Teacher Onizuka is a famous manga character. He’s great and he’s a teacher. And his name is Eikichi Onizuka. What can I tell you? And he makes a very shit lookalike for Senor Nando Torres. Got any shit lookalikes you’ve seen lately? The shitter, the better. Email Pies with your suggestion. More lookalikes

The build-up to Man Utd v Barcelona starts with shit lookalikes Andres Iniesta and Count Duckula This is really shit, I admit, but there’s something in the mouth that make it work. Maybe.

Mmm-hmm, that is a tasty burger As spotted by ITV’s Clive Tyldesley, I think, during the commentary on one of Arsenal’s Champions League matches this season. More Shit Lookalikes

One is a scary control freak, the other is a video game character Nice shoulder pads/hat combo, Mrs Becks. Not intimidating in any way. More Shit Lookalikes

Two scary men, but in very different ways If you don’t watch The Wire, a) you should, absolutely (it’s amazingly good), and b) for the purposes of this post, you might want to know that Partlow (played by Nigerian-American actor Gbenga Akinnagbe) is a hitman for a ruthless drug dealer. Whereas Essien is just a [...]

Chelsea’s German midfielder chases inept Norwegian ref… Poor Ballack, ever the bridesmaid and edging ever closer to retirement. That’s all folks! [Via Dirty Tackle]

Chelsea’s favourite ref and Hollywood’s favourite slaphead If he were alive today, I doubt Brynner would do a worse job of refereeing a football match than Ovrebo did last night. Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email me or leave a comment.

Yah, real good now One likes pancakes, killing people and Marlboro cigarettes. The other is Arsenal’s goalkeeper. Thanks to Kipp for this one. Yah. More Shit Lookalikes

“Lots of people tell me that I look like him. He has actually influenced my choice of hairstyle and I have even studied the way he smokes so I can hold my cigarette in the same way.”

This one requires a leap of the imagination… Thanks to Sam Waller for the first Shit Lookalikes suggestion of the new Pies era. Great stuff Sam, though I think Hart looks more like Danny De Vito’s Penguin from Batman Returns. Got a better Shit Lookalike? Email me and if I like it, I’ll post it [...]

Perm + big nose = twins

Schteeve van der McClaren gets some more stick for his phoney Dutch accent and his similarity to the Joker from Batman.

Old-new England captain John Terry looks like he has got a chance of competing in the Olympics even if a Great Britain side do not enter the football tournament. The Chelsea man’s post-Moscow penalty shootout trauma does make him look uncannily like a synchronised diver. For all his flaws on the field, we never thought JT could be accused of being a diver.

Aston Villa’s new signing from Rangers can’t wait to get his teeth into the new Premier League season. Carlos Cuellar does share the same dentist as Jaws (and Ugly Betty).

I just called to say… those sunglasses went out of fashion in about 1990

Spurs transfer target v annoying reality TV “star” Remember Anthony Hutton, the vain Geordie with a pea-sized brain? I hope not – there’s absolutely no reason for you to. More shit (translation: amazing) lookalikes

Posh v fictional luckdragon Uncanny, huh. Spotted at Totallylookslike.com

G-Nev vs fighty Batman star Gary is like an uglier, wonky-nosed version of Bale, but you can see the resemblence, no? More Shit lookalikes

Has anyone seen this man’s hair? Seems like Stephen Ireland had enough of the wig jokes and decided to break out the clippers. Wise move.

Berby vs not-particularly-funny comedian Thanks to Charlie Constantinou for the fine spot. More Shit lookalikes