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Who ate all the pies

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Man Utd

Manchester United: All the latest Manchester United flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

2″OLE”GEND takes a well-deserved bow Man Utd legend Ole Gunnar Solskjaer had his testimonial at the weekend, against Espanyol. He came on for the last 20-odd minutes and despite his dodgy knees, still showed enough class to remind fans inside Old Trafford why he will always be remembered as a true United legend. I’ve written […]

This crazy game involves helping wantaway Cristiano Ronaldo to escape from hospital and the clutches of Sir Alex Ferguson to land his dream move to Real Madrid. The basic premise is that you use the elastic supporting C-Ron’s knackered ankle to catapult him through the hospital window, picking up as many wads of cash as possible on the way. Real Madrid helicopters are on hand to give you an extra lift along, but beware Fergie the Red Baron who will offer friendly pointers such as: “It’s back to the slave boat for you, son.” Click here to play Ronaldo2Real.

Friday’s fattiest scraps from the table we call “football” Wayne Rooney questioned by police after allegedly spitting at a paparazzo [Mirror] Lucky Steve McLaren, eh – his FC Twente team drew Arsenal in the Champions League. Check out the full draw over at the BBC Boris Johnson spotted shopping for Arsenal merchandise. He also signed […]

Thursday’s news balls, inflated to the max Deuce Bigalow (aka Rob Schneider) snapped wearing West Ham shirt. Oh, and drunk [The Offside Rules] C-Ron says his move to Real Madrid is “non-negotiable”. Fergie might have something to say about that [The Spoiler] Tottenham have held talks with Spartak Moscow striker Roman Pavlyuchenko [BBC] Revealed, the […]

G-Nev vs fighty Batman star Gary is like an uglier, wonky-nosed version of Bale, but you can see the resemblence, no? More Shit lookalikes

Tuesday’s tastiest soccer snacks Fergie may make shock £15m swoop for Thierry Henry, says the Daily Star William Gallas admits last season’s tantrum at Birmingham was a “mistake”. [Independent] Sven-Goran Eriksson should slap on some sunblock… [Monterrey Offside] Has Owen Hargreaves broken up with his WAG? [Kickette] Arsenal bang ten goals past Burgenland in friendly. […]

Premier League champs beat FA Cup holders in Africa Goals by Carlos Tevez, who also missed a penalty, and Chris Eagles saw United beat Pompey in a lively encounter in Abuja. Jermain Defoe scored an 89th-minute consolation for Harry Redknapp’s team. Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

Villa 1-0 Odense Great solo goal by Ashley Young to win the tie. More videos after the jump:

Extra time: 21-25 July

July 26th, 2008

This week’s most popular posts on Pies Valon Behrami’s new WAG has the hotness Player booked for cynical foul on pitch invader Top six horse-face footballers C-Ron’s amazing mahogany legs Chelsea too old to win the title? Top six ridiculous Djibril Cisse looks

Friday’s news balls Spanked by Yanks West Ham lost 3-2 to David Beckham’s MLS All-Stars. [The Spoiler] Unsafe hands Spurs keeper Paul Robinson off to Blackburn in a £3.5m deal. Robbo will replace Brad Friedel, who is off to Aston Villa. [Mirror] The Joy of Cesc Fabregas visits Disneyland, wears Mickey Mouse-themed wizard’s hat. [Kickette] […]

C-Ron’s tan reaching dangerous levels The Offside has noticed, brilliantly, that C-Ron is turning into an Oompa Loompa, and we don’t disagree. He’s also starting to look like a Guido. If you’re not aware of Guidos (see photo, left, for example), Urban Dictionary describes them as follows: “A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not […]

The best photos from United’s second South African exhibition match Click on the image to launch the gallery (and watch Lee Martin’s winning goal after the jump)…

Man Utd star looks more of a dick than ever… Holy moly, has C-Ron been bathing in a mixture of Sunny Delight and baby shit? That is one fierce orange tan, even for a Mediterranean gigolo. FAIL… in a large motherf**king way. [Just Jared]

The best images from Man Yoo’s first friendly in South Africa Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

South African club holds United to draw In which Chris Eagles far-post header spares United’s blushes.

Pics from United’s pre-season tour Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

With Liverpool & Mun Utd circling, Spurs must keep at least one of its star strikers It seems very likely that Berbatov will sign for Man Utd this summer: Fergie wants him – the Utd boss has “good expectations” that the Bulgarian will come to Old Trafford – and Berby himself wants to join United, […]

… Of course he won’t, he’s just being polite Yeah, like C-Ron would ever play in MLS. Although he does seem to like the sunshine and red-carpet lifestyle, so LA could suit him. You never know… damn, I wanted to get through this post without saying “You never know”, which is just a diplomatic way […]

C-Ron takes to the red carpet in LA Ronaldo looks like a total Jersey Guido in this photo. In other words, he looks so vain and cocky that you want to kick away his crutches and mess up his hair. The tabloids are abuzz with the “news” that newly single C-Ron snubbed Paris Hilton. The […]

Extended highlights of Man Yoo’s first pre-season friendly A few thoughts: 1. Good to see Gary Neville back in action. 2. Paul Scholes looks very fresh. 3. Great slide-rule pass from Carrick for the penalty. 4. Why were United wearing Spurs’ kit? 5. Chris Eagles’ hairstyle is baaaaaad.

The best photos from United’s 2-0 pre-season win against Aberdeen Click the image below to view the full gallery…

Today’s hottest news, rumours and lies have a three-chilli rating Aston Villa are very close (medical permitting) to signing Chelsea misfit Steve Sidwell (pictured) for £5m, as direct replacement for outgoing captain Gareth Barry. Who wants to point out to Martin O’Neill that Sidwell is nowhere near as good as Barry… [BBC] More after the […]

Another day, another batch of rumours 1. Darren Fletcher & Diego Milito to Everton Man Utd’s Scottish international and Real Zaragoza’s Argentine striker are high on David Moyes’ wanted list. Andy Johnson could be sold to fund the double deal. [Liverpool Daily Post] Pies verdict I doubt Fergie will sell Fletcher, but there’s a good […]

King Eric to reclaim Old Trafford throne? With Carlos Queiroz lined up to replace Big Phil Scolari as coach of the Portuguese national team, Fergie will need a No.2. According to the ever-reliable Sunday Express, a friend of Cantona’s says that a coaching job at United could tempt the Frenchman out of self-exile: “Eric does […]