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Who ate all the pies

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Man Utd

Manchester United: All the latest Manchester United flavoured news, views, rumours and other assorted bits and bobs

C-Ron’s tan reaching dangerous levels The Offside has noticed, brilliantly, that C-Ron is turning into an Oompa Loompa, and we don’t disagree. He’s also starting to look like a Guido. If you’re not aware of Guidos (see photo, left, for example), Urban Dictionary describes them as follows: “A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not […]

The best photos from United’s second South African exhibition match Click on the image to launch the gallery (and watch Lee Martin’s winning goal after the jump)…

Man Utd star looks more of a dick than ever… Holy moly, has C-Ron been bathing in a mixture of Sunny Delight and baby shit? That is one fierce orange tan, even for a Mediterranean gigolo. FAIL… in a large motherf**king way. [Just Jared]

The best images from Man Yoo’s first friendly in South Africa Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

South African club holds United to draw In which Chris Eagles far-post header spares United’s blushes.

Pics from United’s pre-season tour Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

With Liverpool & Mun Utd circling, Spurs must keep at least one of its star strikers It seems very likely that Berbatov will sign for Man Utd this summer: Fergie wants him – the Utd boss has “good expectations” that the Bulgarian will come to Old Trafford – and Berby himself wants to join United, […]

… Of course he won’t, he’s just being polite Yeah, like C-Ron would ever play in MLS. Although he does seem to like the sunshine and red-carpet lifestyle, so LA could suit him. You never know… damn, I wanted to get through this post without saying “You never know”, which is just a diplomatic way […]

C-Ron takes to the red carpet in LA Ronaldo looks like a total Jersey Guido in this photo. In other words, he looks so vain and cocky that you want to kick away his crutches and mess up his hair. The tabloids are abuzz with the “news” that newly single C-Ron snubbed Paris Hilton. The […]

Extended highlights of Man Yoo’s first pre-season friendly A few thoughts: 1. Good to see Gary Neville back in action. 2. Paul Scholes looks very fresh. 3. Great slide-rule pass from Carrick for the penalty. 4. Why were United wearing Spurs’ kit? 5. Chris Eagles’ hairstyle is baaaaaad.

The best photos from United’s 2-0 pre-season win against Aberdeen Click the image below to view the full gallery…

Today’s hottest news, rumours and lies have a three-chilli rating Aston Villa are very close (medical permitting) to signing Chelsea misfit Steve Sidwell (pictured) for £5m, as direct replacement for outgoing captain Gareth Barry. Who wants to point out to Martin O’Neill that Sidwell is nowhere near as good as Barry… [BBC] More after the […]

Another day, another batch of rumours 1. Darren Fletcher & Diego Milito to Everton Man Utd’s Scottish international and Real Zaragoza’s Argentine striker are high on David Moyes’ wanted list. Andy Johnson could be sold to fund the double deal. [Liverpool Daily Post] Pies verdict I doubt Fergie will sell Fletcher, but there’s a good […]

King Eric to reclaim Old Trafford throne? With Carlos Queiroz lined up to replace Big Phil Scolari as coach of the Portuguese national team, Fergie will need a No.2. According to the ever-reliable Sunday Express, a friend of Cantona’s says that a coaching job at United could tempt the Frenchman out of self-exile: “Eric does […]

The things players get up to in their down time… (click on image below to view gallery)

Yes, he’s still on honeymoon… zzzzz W-Roo has been honeymooning in Vegas with Colleen for several years, seemingly, and he’s still out there, soaking up the sunshine, betting it all on red, and mingling with the stars. On Saturday night he hung out with NBA star LeBron James, at the Wynn hotel’s Blush nightlcub – […]

Finding the Lonely Hearts of Euro 2008 the perfect home in the Premier League

arshavin andrei chelsea.jpg

Arsenal – Artur Boruc
Poland’s keeper was in top form during the competition and a move to a top four club could be enough to tempt him away from Celtic. The Gunners – with Jens Lehmann on his way out – could be interested.

C-Ron off to Madrid, and now this: Fergie will be pleased The Sun goes crazy today over the news that Wayne Rooney was caught smoking a cigarette on his honeymoon in Vegas. Gosh! A drunk sub-editor fellow guest said of this shocking incident: “He (Rooney) is super-fit – you don’t expect to see him smoking. […]

Hitler even less amused by sale of C-Ron than Fergie… Made us laugh, anyway – ah, the simple joy of ironic and crude subtitles.

Rio on holiday in Tel Aviv A handy pictorial reminder of why it’s so refreshing that England aren’t at Euro 2008. Much like any English tourists, there are few things more embarrassing than an English football star abroad. Rio, you officially look like a twat.

Michael Ballack showed C-Ron how to be a real team man Ballack was immense in Germany’s win over Portugal. He inspired his team-mates to play above their level, which is the true measure of a world-class player – Diego Maradona, a better player than Ballack, had the same effect on his Argentine team-mates. The current […]

Euro links for your enjoyment C-Ron voted the hottest player involved in Euro 2008, according to poll of 12,000 women (he hasn’t slept with them all). [MSN Sport] Dutch striker Ruud van Nistelrooy’s opening goal in the win over Italy was legitimate, says Premier League referees’ chief Keith Hackett. So there. [BBC] And some non-Euro […]

Monday’s best football stories 1. Karim Benzema to Man Utd Fergie is preparing a £30m mega bid for the very highly rated Lyon striker. God help the rest of the league if the United boss gets his man. [Manchester Evening News] 2. Jose Mourinho to Inter Milan This is more than mere rumour now, it […]

Irish chart botherers to serenade Roo’s missus Westlife will perform at the wedding of Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin. Westlife are apparently Coleen’s favourite band. How vomit-inducing sweet. The couple are getting married on 14 June in Italy and are rumoured to be spending £3m on the bash, thanks mostly to OK! magazine. God knows […]