Big designer sunglasses: check. Chunky scarf, carefully tied around the neck: check. Obligatory LA baseball cap: check. Size 0 ex-pop-star wife: check. Crappy NHS walking stick: châ€¦ hang on a minute, shouldn’t Becks really be wielding a pimp-style Versace cane, rather than this wholly unfashionable support? OK, so he’s buggered up his knee ligaments, but that doesn’t mean Golden Balls has to lose all sense of style. C’mon Dave, your standards are slipping mate.