What were they thinking?!

Its’s not what he asked for

Way before Movember, ballers grew moustaches just because they thought they looked good!

Classic barnets in World Cup history

Celebrating the World Cup’s best and worst barnets

The worst hairstyle in Premier League history?

‘Moisture is the essence of weakness…’

Why does Becks look so gaunt and knackered?

What’s de big oidea?

Everton star’s big hair is a serious threat to the beautiful game

From skinhead to mullet, Becks has done the lot…

Don’t call him the wanker in the black. Call him Mr Vain

Uefa dish out two-match ban to Eduardo for the Croatian’s dive against Celtic (watch it here)

Did Louis lose a pre-season bet? Or did he mean to dye his hair blonde and get the wrong colour? Or perhaps he’s trying to look like even more of a dick in a box than team-mate Marouane Fellaini? Whatever, this look is a tonsorial FAIL.

From this: To this: Jaunty and theatrical, I’d say.

Looking up at the stars makes me think of all the hot guys in the world… Click the photo below to launch the gallery:

We got ourselves a couple of Sideshow Bobs here. Lichte is the assistant coach for SC Paderborn (of Bundesliga 2 fame), and Gladwell is the cult author of best-sellers ‘Blink’ and ‘Tipping Point’. PS. Many thanks for all the Lookalikes you emailed in while Pies was inactive. Keep em’ coming!

Where did all the moustaches go? These days it’s all bare upper lips and waxed chests. Shame. Get a load of this… Caesar Jenkyns Hail Caesar. The rugged Welshman was one of the hardest defenders of his era - he played for Woolwich Arsenal from 1895-96, and became the Gooners’ first ‘international’ captain. Bob Holmes Elementary. [...]

Two very ugly men with wonky faces and indisputably shit hair. That is all. ‘Nuff respect to Pies reader Kit Sheppard, who emailed us with this fine suggestion. Think you can do better than Kit? Email Pies with your lookalike(s).

The ponytail is a particularly nasty hairstyle, rarely seen in real life these days, but it has a shamefully rich heritage amongst footballers… Brian Kilcline You’re looking at a man’s man’s man’s man. Even with his girly hair, you’d never, ever mess with Kilcline. Roberto Baggio The one and only Divine Ponytail. Gaze on it [...]

There’s never a bad time to celebrate the most terrifying/amusing hairstyle in football history. Sit back, relax and enjoy our gallery of long-at-the-back horror hair… Frank Worthington Hello ladies. Charlie Nicholas Words fail me. Paul Mariner Sweet Jesus. Gerry Francis Twat sandwich. Mark Hateley That tracksuit top is awesomeness squared. Rudi Voller 1990s, time for [...]

Remember when curtain hair was all the rage? It was the Premier League of all hairstyles. Pies travels back in time to that very era (let’s call it the Nineties), to enjoy some of the very best curtains ever seen (and not an undercut in sight). Enjoy… 1. David Seaman Look how attractive the curtains [...]