Top 10s & lists

Top 10s: Everybody loves a list. Footballing conclusions, opinions, ratings and run-downs all presented in a handy numerical ordering system.

  • Transfer deadline looms: 5 last-minute rumours August 30th, 2006 Arsenal

    The summer transfer window will close tomorrow, blown firmly shut by a chilly, autumnal gust. Several big-name British clubs haven’t finished spending though. Panic buying, anyone? Here are the five hottest transfer rumours:1 Ashley Cole is stuck at ArsenalArgghhhh! Jesus wept, does anyone still care about the Cole/Chelsea/Arsenal love triangle? If you do, at least […]

  • Top 10 Ugliest Players in the Premier League August 23rd, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    Seeing an ugly footballer with a stunning blonde always puts me in mind of Mrs Merton’s classic one-liner to Debbie McGee: ‘So, Debbie, what first attracted you to millionaire Paul Daniels?’ It’s a sad fact of life that not all famous people are blindingly attractive. Anyway, after extensive research, we can reveal that the Top […]

  • Who is your second team? August 22nd, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    Football is tribal. You pledge your allegiance to a team and you don’t budge. That’s the way it’s supposed to work anyway. My first love has always been Bolton Wanderers. Over the years, I’ve acquired soft spots for teams. Some make sense. Some don’t. For example, my second team I keep an eye on is […]

  • 10 Brilliantly Bonkers Managers August 22nd, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    Every football manager’s office should have one of those ‘You don’t have to be mad to work here…’ signs. Because, obviously, you do have to be mad to want to be a football manager. Some bosses are madder than others, naturally. Take a look at this lot, for example: You have already read 4 premium […]

  • Premier League opening weekend: 5 conclusions August 21st, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    1 So much for Alan Shearer’s prediction that Wayne Rooney would ‘stick one on Ronaldo’ when they returned to Old Trafford after the World Cup. Man Utd’s ruthless 5-1 defeat of hapless Fulham proved that Rooney just loves to play football – at one stage, it seemed as it R&R’s love-in might see them hold […]

  • 10 Biggest Divas in the Premiership August 9th, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    I think footballers are like footballs (stick with me on this): They used to be hard ‘n’ solid and made of thick leather. You wouldn’t mess with one. Today, however, they’re made of fancy plastic and fly about all over the place. Yes, 21st-century footballers are a motley crew of lightweight divas and overhyped divers. […]

  • Top 10 Fat Footballers July 31st, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    These days professional footballers have to be professional athletes as well. There’s no room in the game for a player who likes his pies and ale and wears his shorts XXXL. This is a great shame; if you look at our Top 10 Fat Footballers, you’ll see that there’s some world-class talent in there… (They’re […]

  • Video of Dirk Kuyt’s top 10 goals, so Liverpool fans can see what the fuss is about July 21st, 2006 Liverpool

    Blonde bombshell Dirk Kuyt had a lousy World Cup, so it’s understandable if Liverpool fans don’t think that much of Rafa Benitez’s interest in the Dutch striker. This video of Kuyt’s top 10 goals gives you a better idea of why he’d probably thrive in the Premiership… You have already read 4 premium articles for […]

  • 10 things we learnt about Wayne Rooney this week July 18th, 2006 Man Utd

    1 He likes to fall asleep to the sound of a vacuum cleaner. Either that or a hairdryer. Weirdo.2 He doesn’t mind being nicknamed ‘Shrek’ or ‘Potato Face’.3 His favourite food is spaghetti bolognese.4 If he was Prime Minister, he’d lock up ‘all traffic wardens’. Harsh, but fair.5 His favourite wine is sauvignon blanc. Mmm, […]

  • Top 12 Football Insults July 17th, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    12. Maradona vs journalists “You lot take it up the arse.” 11. Fergie slams Alan Wiley’s fitness “The referee was not fit enough. The game demanded a referee who was fit. He’s not fit. You see referees abroad who are as fit as butcher’s dogs. He was taking 30 seconds to book a player then […]

  • 10 players I’m seriously considering for my fantasy football team this season July 14th, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    It’s a double-edged sword, maintaining a fantasy footy team for the whole season. You end up worrying about games that should mean nothing to you, just because you have players involved – I shouldn’t really care whether or not that rebound off Gilberto Silva‘s knee counts as an assist. The best thing to do is […]

  • Top 10 candidates (well, 12 actually) to be the next Wolves manager July 13th, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    Who would want to manage Wolves right now? Joleon Lescott (Everton), Seol Hi-Kyeon (Reading), Mark Kennedy (Crystal Palace), Colin Cameron (Coventry City) and Kenny Miller (Celtic) have all jumped ship, leaving the squad looking barer than Marco Materazzi’s MySpace friends list. There’s no money to spend (which seems to be why Glenn Hoddle left in […]

  • The World Cup’s Unfair Play Awards: 10 Players shortlisted for the Golden Elbow July 13th, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    Given the amount of cheating going on at the World Cup, FIFA should have scrapped the Fair Play award and instead handed out an Unfair Play award. That’s not going to happen – hell, if Zidane can win player of the tournament, that’s definitely not going to happen – so we’ve done it for you: […]