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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Lookalikes

Shit Lookalikes: Does exactly what it says on the tin. As far as we’re concerned, when it comes to footballing lookalikes; the shitter the better!

A bit obscure unless you’re into comic book adaptations like Blade 2 or Hell Boy. Both films featured the Holllywood actor, Ron Perlman, but if he can’t make the next sequel then we’re sure former US and Blackburn goalkeeper, Brad Friedel, would be the perfect substitute

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Without doubt the shittest lookalike I’ve ever posted, but it is a rather amusing pic – so sue me. It was taken during a visit by the Man Utd squad to Chimelong Safari Park in Guangzhuo, China.

In the same way that overweight comedian Peter Kay looks like John O’Shea we think that another out of condition comic and 8 Out of Ten Cats presenter, Jason Manford, looks like a larger than life Michael Owen.

Dan%20Petrescu%20t-shirt.jpgOne thing Pies loves about RetroFootballTshirts’ range is that you will often come across a shirt in honour of a player who doesn’t tend to cross your mind very often. And you can’t beat a bit of nostalgia! One such player is Dan Petrescu.

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Thanks to Pies reader Doug Myers, who has taken advantage of our new Facebook group to suggest this outstanding Shit Lookalike. Carlos Tevez – despite being a dead ringer for Red Hot Chilli Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis – is also the spitting image of Blanca from the video game Street Fighter. That is uncanny!
Oh, and if anyone has a clue whether this should be in the West Ham or Man United category, let us know!

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As the Sun might say, what a pair of egg-headed Swedes! Interesting that Ljungberg was snapped with the chairman at his unveiling, rather than the manager – is this a signing that Alan Curbishley didn’t sanction or want, perhaps? (Ie. one of those Abramovich/Shevchenko things).

Not quite uncanny but the Argentine hard man does bear a resemblance to US porn entrepreneur and star of E4′s Porn: A Family Business – whether they pull the same expression after releasing a ‘money shot’ is open to question.

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Next up off the Pies Shit Lookalike conveyer belt is England and Chelsea guvnor John Terry and actor Matthew Macfadyen, who is best known for starring in BBC spy drama Spooks.

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Look at these two jokers. You’d swear it was the same person. Sven really, really loves sitting in the corner of a dugout, doesn’t he? Like some sort of bespectacled Swedish cat.

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Oh, I enjoyed writing that headline. Seriously though, what the hell is The Ugliest Footballer in the World doing riding a big yellow toy pig? Is is a Bayern mascot or something? It looks a lot like Pikachu, don’t you think?

Spare a thought for Uzbekistan coach Rustam Akramov. His nation are not exactly one of football’s major powers, but nonetheless they are currently battling it out for the Asian Cup. The question is: who do you play in goal when all your keepers look like crazed serial killers?

We spotted this beauty on the ever-excellent Left Back and just had to pay tribute to (ie. steal) it. Top work chaps, love it…
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Pre-seasonlampard.jpgLooks like Frank, aka Eric Cartman, has been demolishing his fair share of pies and cream cakes during his summer holidays. Jose Mourinho won’t be happy to see that his star midfielder has developed such an impressive set of man breasts, or moobs as we like to call ‘em. And he could do with a spot of lipo on that wobbly gut. Too much Christmas pudding Frank?

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Rafa’s goatee strikes again! Not only is the bearded Liverpool boss a dead ringer for David Gest, he also looks like Peter Kay in his sitcom Max and Paddy’s Road to Nowhere.

Rafa’s new goatee has generated some new Shit Lookalikes. Yay! Remember, while Fernando Torres still has to prove he is a quality Premiership player worth £20 million he is undoubtedly a better signing than Liza Minelli!

Thanks to long-time friend of Pies, Daryl, for suggesting our latest Shit Lookalike. It looks like Arsenal may have acquired The Artist Formerly Known As Prince as they attempted to fill the gaping hole in their strikeforce formerly filled by Thierry Henry.
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Mexico’s Copa America goalscoring hero Nery Castillo bears an unfortunate resemblance to the monobrowed baby Maggie hates in The Simpsons. Don’t expect his ugly mug to put off Europe’s big boys if he continues his current form though. The Olympiakos striker has just turned 23 and could be ready for his big move this summer.

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Being a lanky bloke and wearing an England shirt isn’t enough to call yourself a professional Peter Crouch lookalike, surely? But this chap, known only as ‘Martin’, is available for hire, through the website Fake Faces. Money well spent, we’re sure.

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Allegedly soon-to-be Barcelona midfielder Cesc Fabregas seems to have been separated at birth from the Haribo Kid – or is he just trying to mould his hair on Deco to ensure that he takes his place in Barca’s midfield as effectively as possible.

Sven is set to take the Manchester City job and is apparently hoping to make Sweden assistant manager Roland Andersson his number two (schoolboy snigger). Rumour has it the duo would be quite happy to walk 500 miles just to be the men to take over at Eastlands.
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Our Mark Webber/David Nugent Shit Lookalike earlier today was just too damn good. It simply did not meet the low standards of poor quality lookalikes that Pies readers have come to expect. Here is another Who Ate All The Pies Shit Lookalke which is much more true to form: Alan Smith and Brooklyn Beckham. Smudger is set to join Newcastle in a £3.5 million deal, but nobody is currently interested in signing Brooklyn as far as we know.

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This isn’t shit, is it? We think it’s actually quite good.

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Kanapoutz is a French children’s character – we think. If you know different, please drop us a line.
Sven is the next manager of Man City, at least if former Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra completes his takeover of the club.

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Standing next to Franck Ribery instantly makes any man look like a demi-godlike cross between George Clooney, Brad Pitt and that beardy fellow from 300. And indeed, Luca Toni does look like the most handsome man in the world in this photo. He’s a good-looking fella anyway, but next to Ribery he looks obscenely dark and tall and handsome.