By Chris Wright
Following Atletico Madrid’s gutsy performance and victory over Chelsea in the Champions League semi-finals last night, Diego Simeone ended his post-match conference by thanking the mothers of his players for having the foresight to sire offspring with the requisite testicular fortitude to pull off such a performance.
“I want to thank the mothers of these players we have at Atletico Madrid because they gave birth to them with bollocks this big,” said Simeone while using his hands to mime the size of a watermelon. “The reaction of the team will stick in people’s memories.”
“The players took control of the pitch against a powerful team, with a lot of history in the Champions League, and that make me very pleased. We have to be grateful for their effort because without them we could not have experienced what we are.”
Cholo really is the business when it comes to being the boss – his players would not only walk over hot coals for him, but probably happily eat them afterwards too if he asked.
Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have some rather unpleasant images we wish to erase from our mind forever.