Football Venn: Welcome To…The Balotelli Zone
By Chris Wright
There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. This is an area we call, The Balotelli Zone…
Surely the ‘Balotelli Zone’ isn’t the sole preserve of young Mario? Granted, I’m struggling to think of players that manage the startling feat of being decent, mental and likeable. Gazza perhaps? He’s certainly got the ‘mental’ thing cornered.
Any suggestions peeps?
Image: Valderramarama
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gazza?
@Nicko: Ooh, just beat me to it you scallywag!
Lol, how is Gazza in any way likeable?
Idiotic, pish stained, junkie, wife beating tramp of a human.
@Dusty: Aye. That may well be true, but he’s always on hand to dole out fishing rods, chicken and dressing gowns to the truly needy.
Cassano? Di canio? Cantona?
i’m liking the positioning of el-hadji diouf :) can’t say i find messi likeable – but i see that others do i spose
All jokes aside, this football venn is unbelievably clever! Balotelli’s management should replace the word ‘mental’ with something like ‘unique character’ and send it off to all the advertising agencies with a text about how using him instead of Ronaldo and Messi makes sense. Then after they’ve successfully collected a billion pounds they should donate 1.5% to Pies.
Mental: Gennaro Gattuso
Likeable: Chicharito
Mental / Good at Football: Neymar
I’ll come up with more when I leave class.
@Dusty…I dont believe Gazza was a tramp of a human just a guy with obvious mental problems who managed to keep them (somewhat) under control until the football dissapeared and he began to self implode as he had nothing to occupy his (unstable) mind. I will never make an excuse for the wife beating mind but I think he deeply regrets this!! I cant help but have a bit of love for Gazza, even if it is a slightly rose tinted (1990) view!!
I agree with Fredmeister DiCanio is fairly likable, mental and was world class
This is truly clever. I love the paragraph…very creative and smart! I truly cannot stand Balotelli, he’s such a self serving, “i’m hot shit” idiot, he’s right up there with the ranks of John Terry. BUT, all that aside, this venn diagram makes perfect sense…so, kudos to you Mr Wright. :)
Thanks Kate, but I can’t take any of the credit for it. Alas, you should really be thanking the guys over at Valderramarama.
Agree with the venn diagram and most of the comments in all their glorious absurdity. Even though he’s bat-shit crazy, there is something unexplainably likeable about Mario Balotelli.
Also agree with you lot bout gazza, cantona and dicanio.
Was Ameobi included for Dave from Newcastle?
Suarez and Di Canio surely?
djibril cisse!
@Kacker
Suarez? likeable? really?
maybe if you’re a fellow racist bastard
@Mr. Sparkle
Hahaha yes glad to see im not the only fan of the show hahaha. Ameobi like! :D
Mental/Good at football: Pepe
Good at football only: Anelka
Di Canio definitely!
The man’s autobiography has a tira misu recipe from his grandmother for the love of God. That’s awesome enough on its own.
I vote the “Balotelli Zone” be renamed to the “Maradona Zone.”
Can someone create an alternative Venn diagram? Categories: Boring (Michael Owen), Sh!t at Football (Eric Djemba-Djemba) and Unlikeable (Duncan Ferguson).
DiCanio is immensely dislikeable, but then again, I am an Oxford fan!
Cantona was never likeable IMO either… Cissé isn’t a bad shout though
@ col. That would be the fernando torres zone, right?
jens lehmann