Forgotten Waif Michael Owen Readies Himself For Heroic Role In Man Utd Title Tilt

Alan Duffy

25th, April 2012


By Alan Duffy

Super Michael patiently waits for his moment of glory…

Manchester United fans – worried that your beloved team’s grip on the Premier League trophy may be loosening? Well don’t fear, because boy wonder Michael Owen is here. Well, sort of.

The former Liverpool star, who has only made one Premier League appearance for United this season due to injury and the fact that he’s not as good as the other strikers at Fergie’s disposal, has revealed that he is nearing full fitness and is ready to step into the breach to win the title for the red half of United. The (once) fleet-footed forward said:

“My mindset has got to be get myself ready mentally, physically as I might be needed for 10 or 20 minutes. Who knows? That could be in the last game of the season at Sunderland. I might have built up enough, whether playing in a reserves game or two, and then that’s fine.”

“I can’t imagine myself getting back and starting in the 11. But I think the immediate thing is to get myself mentally ready, just in case the manager says, ‘I’ll put you on the bench’ or whatever and I’ll come on for 15 minutes and try to nick a goal if we’re struggling.”

He’s obviously fantasised about a dramatic finale to the season a lot whilst recovering from injury. However, I think he may have kicked his last ball for United already.

Posted in Man Utd

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  1. Rob says:

    Michael who?

  2. Stiff says:

    “Fry: Hey listen Bender. Where’s your bathroom?
    Bender: Bath what?
    Fry: Bathroom!
    Bender: What room?
    Fry: Bathroom!
    Bender: What what?”

    That’s what your comment reminded me of straight away Rob.

  3. lfc_man says:

    He can come off the bench and score in a pressure situation. Can’t do much else though.

  4. Milkchew says:

    Michael `Here is a dossier to prove that I am NOT injury prone` Owen.

    A dossier that was presented and written while he was injured and if you read this statement in six months time he will still be injured.

    Turncoat jerk.

  5. AGB says:

    Perhaps its more of a worry that the last Englishman to win European Footballer of the Year – and the only one to have done so at all in the last 32 years – is now reduced to a figure of fun and humiliation. What does that say about the rest of our so called home grown superstars in the “best league in the world”?

    And I’m a Newcastle fan, so I’m not bigging Owen up or defending him at all. I’m just pointing out that there may be a wider context to look at here.

  6. JT says:

    Overated, sell out, has been twat!

  7. ferguson and webb says:

    if let say the scum win the title, owen not deserved to take it. last season he is so shame to have it, if i am owen, i will not take it. SHAME on you Oewn with no contribution at all.

  8. nat says:

    He’s paid as he plays right?That means he’s been earning less than me this year so far?

  9. Mr. Sparkle says:

    I think Owen should make the obligatory Hargreaves video.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Such an ambitious lad.

  11. JJ says:

    Its sad, one of the best finishers England has had over the last 3 decades wasting his remaining days thinking he will play for Man United. A good Championship side would take him and probaly play him.

  12. WildScotsman6 says:

    Hey… if Torres did it for Chelski, then Owen can get one!

  13. Jimbo says:

    BACK in the starting 11..? When was he ever in the starting 11?

  14. ferguson and webb says:

    what an injury idiot who always shame himself! IDIOT TRAITOR!

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