“Sometimes on a day off I go to the doughnut shop. When we play at home, I go there after the game and it’s like a doughnut party! Everyone is eating doughnuts inside their cars – it’s like a disco!”
Arsenal’s Cesc Fabregas reveals just how scientific a modern player’s diet can be.
“Had I not become a footballer, I think I would have been a virgin.”
Peter Crouch admits that in another life he might just be out of Abbey Clancy’s league.
“It is omelettes and eggs. No eggs – no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs… In the supermarket, some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.”
Another mad metaphor from Jose Mourinho. You miss him, admit it.
“I am not the special one. I’m the normal one. But my wife says I am special.”
Avram Grant uses humour to step gently into Jose’s footsteps.
“I don’t follow football, I just love the name Aston Villa. What suburb of Rome is Aston Villa from?”
Tom Hanks – yes, the Tom Hanks – shows off his immense knowledge of soccerball.
“If Chelsea are naive and pure then I’m Little Red Riding Hood.”
Rafa ‘My, what a big squad you have…’ Benitez disputes Jose Mourinho’s claim that Chelsea are well-behaved.
“The only way we will get into Europe is by ferry.”
A new joke to add to the repertoire of King Kevin Keegan – he’s still got it.
“Our objective is keep Arsenal English, albeit with a lot of foreign players.”
Peter Hill-Wood, Arsenal’s chairman, shows off his mastery of double-speak.
“Once Ashley puts some weight on he will be fantastic. At the moment he’s about three-and-a-half stone – a couple of times we have put him through the letterbox!”
Martin O’Neill explains why he wants to see more of Ashley Young.
“I haven’t seen that. I don’t know anything about it. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
A classic Wengerism after the on-field spat between Emmanuel Adebayor and Nicklas Bendtner.
Via BBC Sport