Newcastle United Boss Alan Pardew: Ben Arfa Is A Heineken Player
By Alan Duffy
He may have barely kicked a ball for Newcastle, but according boss Alan Pardew, French winger Hatem Ben Arfa can bring a missing creativity to the Magpies.
“Pards” said: “He’s a player that can reach heights that other players can’t reach, that Heineken player if you like.”
In the Carling Cup this week, the Frenchman looks set to make his first appearance for Newcastle since last October, when he had his leg broken by Manchester City rottweiler Nigel De Jong.
No doubt Heineken are delighted with the free advertising, courtesy of Pardew. But we at Pies are wondering – what other players can be compared to an alcoholic beverage? Here’s one for starters – Michael Owen is that old bottle of Apricot Brandy that stays hidden at the back of the cupboard and is only brought out when you’ve nothing else to drink.
Any more….?
Do Arsenal Artificially Enhance The Emirates Atmosphere? – OTP
Big Cup Bullshit – The FCF
Guess UEFA Cup Finalists From Their Shirt – Three Match Ban
20 Damning Steve Kean Quotes – Mirror Football
'Abandon All Hope…' – Sunshine Room
Leaked Blackburn Letter Shows Extent Of Turmoil – EPL Talk
Genius Who Couldn't Exist Today: Dragan Stojkovic – LBITCR
German Philosopher Reflects On Jose Mourinho – Futfanatico
Rule Changes That Could Hand Title To Man Utd – FourFourTwo
Welcome To Posh – Danny Last for IBWM
that means he is overrated?
Vincent Kompany is like Stella Artois. Stong, Belgian and liable to leave you on the floor unconscious.
Barton – caliber, weak with vile taste and no rational reason for his existence
Lucas Neill is Fosters- Australian, and well…shit.
On a completely different note Chris…..Any chance or resurrecting the “guess who hidden behind random celebrity” game….I liked that i did
@Davy: To be honest, I’d completely forgotten about ‘Spot The Baller’ – I’ll probably start it up again at some point later in the week/next week.
Andy Caroll is a strong gin and tonic – liable to leave women crying in a heap on the floor.
Balotelli = adrenochrome a la fear and loathing
@Chris…Surweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
johny terry is like a bottle of wine..
he gets slightly better with age, and he’s likely to have your girlfriend on her back before the end of the night.
The whole Stoke team is like Special Brew.
Strong, effective, but leaves your internal organs in a bit of mess, and nobody wants to be seen stooping that level.
Arsenal are a 2 litre bottle of Babycham to Barcelona’s Cristal.
Technically similar, but one is undeniably rubbish.
Cristiano Ronaldo is that gigantic sugary girly drink that you and all your friends (usually women) buy out at the bars because it’s cheap and tastes good but then you realize the next morning that it was really just full of shit.
Andrey Arshavin is a white Russian. He’s white, Russian, and the creaminess of the drink is kinda unsettling.
Leo Messi is that cheap beer that tastes infinitely better than those expensive foreign beers while costing next to nothing.
Owen Hargreaves is a fine bottle of red wi…. oh shit, you just dropped it and it shattered all over the floor.
the owen hargreaves one was the best so far. well done dc. im 15 so i dont know sh!t about alcohol [not tastefully at least ;)] but can someone do one of Fernando Torres? better be hilarious
Balotelli is like absinthe, will do the job and can be amazing, but too much of it will drive you insane.
The truth is nobody knows much about this Ben Arfa fella.
Robbie Keane: Guinness – Sold everywhere, but better in Ireland.
Fernando Torres (O’Douls – which is non-alcoholic BTW) – You’ll eventually get a result after about 1500 minutes of drinking it, and only then will you come to realize the grave error you just made.
Hey Pies… what about that Michael Owen goal tonight? ha? kkkkk you guys suck
chellini could easily erase your DNA like a good sip of tasty solvent
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giorgio_Chiellini <— ^^
Gattuso is Guinness –
Short, black and white, and you get a nasty kick if you down it…
Joey Barton is a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon.