In a frankly gutting turn of events, Tottenham have announced that their new White Hart Lane stadium will not boast a special VIP cheese bar.
What’s more, the club have sworn that there were never any plans to install such a room at any point during the conceptualisation of the designs.
The Guardian reported in 2017 that the new Lane would feature several posh things, including one-way glass panels lining the tunnel to allow approximately 100 paying fans the chance to observe Spurs players as if they were locked inside some kind of nightmarish ‘human enclosure’ with enjoying a fine-dining experience in return for an entirely reasonable £30,000 a season.
We were also promised a “cheese room” for supporters/clients to select their own “specially sourced half-time cheeses” at half-time during matches.
However, after attempting to follow-up on what progress has been made in the subsequent two years, the Guardian have been informed by Spurs that there is no cheese room at their new stadium, nor were there ever any plans to install one.
Has the ridicule prompted a U-turn? No, insist Spurs. They were never going to have the cheese room in the first place – a story that has more holes in it than a full-flavoured emmental.
Unbelievable. It’s always the real, cheese connoisseur football fans who end up paying the biggest price.
Guess we’ll just have to continue sneaking our matchday wheel of gourmet Brie de Meaux through the turnstiles like common peasants.