‘God Teaches Us To Forgive’ – Alan Pardew Reinstates Jonny Evans As West Brom Captain After Brief Dalliance With Taxi Theft

Chris Wright

23rd, February 2018


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Just when you thought he couldn’t possibly get anymore insufferable, Alan Pardew has opted to adopt a pious position over West Brom’s recent warm weather training excursion-gone-awry.

If you recall, the Baggies’ morale-boosting trip to Barcelona last week ended with four of their senior players drunkenly stealing a taxi in the early hours of the morning and joy-riding to McDonald’s before dumping it outside their team hotel.

The quartet – Gareth Barry (36), Jonny Evans (30), Boaz Myhill (35) and Jake Livermore (28) – were all fined two weeks’ wages for breaking the midnight curfew, though both Barry and Evans returned to the first team for the very next game: a 2-1 home defeat against Southampton in the FA Cup.

However, being a virtuous man of endless faith, Pards has followed the lead of God himself by absolving his errant foursome of their sins, even reinstating Evans as his club captain less than a week after the 5:30am taxi tour o’ doom.

Speaking at his weekly sermon press conference, the West Brom boss addressed the congregation:

He (Evans) has paid a heavy price for [his conduct]. Trust me. It’s like all things in life, if you make a mistake does that mean you are going to have to pay for it for the rest of your life? I don’t think so.

I think God teaches us to forgive. On this occasion I wouldn’t say he’s been forgiven. But he’s paid a price and he’s still paying a price with you guys [the media], so he’ll learn that that was an event he deeply regrets as he lives on.

West Bromwich Albion are currently bottom of the Premier League, seven points adrift with 11 games remaining.

Good job their manager has a direct line to the big man.