Part the first:
Hawk-Eye: “Let me put it this way, Mr. Wilder. The 9000 series Hawk-Eye is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer Hawk-Eye has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.”
Also Hawk-Eye: “I’m sorry, Chris (Wilder), I’m afraid I can’t do that. I can’t award that goal you clearly scored at Villa Park.”
Oddly, Hawk-Eye’s apology for last night’s VAR farce included the claim that it was the first time such an error had occurred in more than 9,000 matches using the system. Nine thousand matches. Like HAL 9000. Hmmm.
Part the second:
Former England keeper Rob Green auditioning for the role of Joe Exotic’s next husband:
Reminder of Rob Green’s usual look: