Dimitar Berbatov Reveals The Secret Behind His Fine Form

Chris Wright

21st, September 2010


By Chris Wright

Dimitar Berbatov – not a ‘weights man’

After enduring two years of resolute indifference from the terraces, Manchester United striker Dimitar Berbatov (or Flopiflop Flopbaflop, as he was known up until about five weeks ago) has finally started to win people round – netting seven goals in six games, and generally beginning to play like a £30 million signing should.

Berba’s secret? Bionic limb implants? A one-way death pact with the dark lord himself? Perhaps an uber futuristic Ivan Drago-style steroid-fuelled Cold War montage sequence?  Well actually no, his secret seems to be…running around a bit during the summer;

“I have worked hard on my fitness – so hard. I’m not a ‘weights guy’ as anyone can see from my body but I have been trying even to work on that. I ran six miles every day in the close season.

My routine was to watch a World Cup match and then go for a run. Then I would watch another game then go out and have another run.”

I still prefer to believe it was the montage option. Just squint your eyes and try sub Berbatov’s refined Bulgarian features in for Dolph Lundgren’s massive oblong noggin…


Posted in Man Utd

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  1. Mr. Angry says:

    berbatov is an asshole, nani is a dirty cheating bastard

  2. Mr. Relaxed says:

    berbatov is a nice bloke, nani looks a bit like michael jackson

  3. The Oracle of Football says:

    Is this guy really serious ? He does a little bit of extra running ?!
    The couch potato neighbor I have does more exercise than this pathetic striker. Perhaps I could sign up to manage my neighbor and sell him to Manchester United for around 50 million.
    The secret behind Berbatov’s “brilliance” is just pure luck, with a little accidental skill here and there.

  4. The Oracle of Twattery says:

    Mate, if your neighbour can pluck a cross out the sky with his knee before firing a dipping overhead kick into the top corner then I’ll pay you the 50 mil myself.

  5. Jimbo says:


    pathetic striker, with 7 goals in six games? yeah defo a bit of luck there. except, Berbatov has the best touch in the premiership.

  6. Mr. Angry says:

    fuck off JIMBO youll feel my touch when i knock you out!

  7. Jimbo says:

    lol alright chill out badman, don’t want you blowing your computer screen up.

  8. Michael says:

    Guys, he has a style! Never say too much! There are guys who run and there are guys who score…

  9. The Oracle of Football says:

    Although my house might get bombed after I post this but to be fairly honest – Premiership sucks. Berbatov’s overhead kick just happened to hit the crossbar and go in (AKA luck), if you take a look at the Bundesliga or the famous La Liga – you will probably end up jizzing in your pants from ANY game rather than Berbatov who tried to accelerate a ball which was ‘dipping’ to a max speed of round about 0,2 km/h.

    Berbatov is a lazy blob of shaved hair gel, and that is exactly why he plays for Man Utd, enough said. We will wait for champions league, we will see how he fairs up his inside the box scoring abilities against proper keepers AKA Valdes, Cassillas, etc.

    Oh and Twattery, start saving – because that 50 mil is sure to be mine soon.

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