“There’s only one Jimmie Krankie” and other ace chants


8th, March 2007


Krankies_1There is nothing like a funny chant at a ground to make you realise how wonderful football can really be. Sometimes chants become famous in their own right… just like "There’s only two Andy Gorams!" after he was diagnosed with schizophrenia or the brilliant "You’re not as good as Christmas" sung at Jermaine Easter recently.

So with footballers making sorry names for themselves with contract wrangling and managers always moaning about referees, it’s to the fans we look for our footballing joys… so read over for some of the finest and funniest chanting of the past few weeks which include Wee Jimmie Krankie at Leeds and Cilla Black…

"Cilla wants her teeth back, Cilla wants her teeth back, La la la la, La la la la".
Liverpool fans to Ronaldinho during Barcelona match.

"You’ll never cheat for England!"
Watford fans to Everton’s Andy Johnson after an alleged dive in the box.

"Theres only one Jimmy Krankie!"
Wolves fans to Leeds manager Dennis Wise.

"We’ve got Channel 4!" and "Have you ever seen ER?"
Hibs fans to Queen of the South fans who reside in the Borders region where you can’t get a Channel 4 signal.

[Mof Gimmers]


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  1. Dan says:

    Southampton manager Gordon Strachan on Wayne Rooney
    Its an incredible rise to stardom. “At 17 you’re more likely to get a
    call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson.”
    Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the
    England squad?
    Strachan (Beattie’s manager at So’ton at the time): I dont care, I’m Scottish
    Reporter: “Gordon, can we have a quick word please?”
    Strachan: “Velocity” [walks off]
    Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are
    the right man to turn things around?
    Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job
    and I said, “No, I think they should have got George Graham because
    I’m useless.”
    Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
    Strachan: Well I’ve still got a job so it’s far better than the
    Coventry one, that’s for sure.
    Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
    Strachan: We’re not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We
    were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into
    Europe. I don’t know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us
    to win the Champions League?
    Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
    Strachan: You’re spot on! You can read me like a book.
    Strachan: I’ve got more important things to think about. I’ve got a
    yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my
    priority rather than Agustin Delgado.
    Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you’ll be happy
    to get your first win under your belt, won’t you?
    Strachan: You’re right. It is a daft question. I’m not even going to
    bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you’re spot on there.
    Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
    Strachan: No, I’m just going to crumble like a wreck. I’ll go home,
    become an alcoholic and maybe! jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can
    take it, yeah.
    Reporter: There’s no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
    Strachan: Apart from yourself, we’re all quite positive round here.
    I’m going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man,
    Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
    Strachan: Not telling you! It’s a secret. >
    Reporter: You don’t take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
    Strachan: I don’t take stupid comments lightly either.
    Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were
    better than you today?
    Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there….

  2. Dan says:

    I know those weren’t chants, so slightly off topic, but thought it shows that managers can have a sense of humour as well as fans

  3. Col says:

    A lot of people don’t like Gord but boy is he funny when he wants to be…

  4. OmegaSupremeho says:


  5. Jorge says:

    There is a lot of talk about sportsmanship in England and if you go around you see people infuriated at anything that might resemble a dive or time wasting, but I have not seen any comments on the poor sportsmanship shown by Chelsea supporters when a Porto’s player was bleeding profusely from his head.
    I know this is off context but I, and some (non-portuguese) friends that watched the game were pretty appalled at the attitude of the crowd.

  6. Dan says:

    Best one i heard
    “Are you West Ham in disguise” – Spurs fans to Bolton after they went 3-0 up in 20 minutes

  7. Andy says:

    Wrong sport, but when Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Jon McKay was asked after a loss what he thought of his offensive line’s execution he responded he was in favor of it.

  8. Ollie, Pies Ed. says:

    Ha, nice one Andy – not heard that before

  9. Joe says:

    ‘I’d rather have a lifeboat than Kanu…’
    ‘I’d rather have a dinghy than Kanu…’
    ‘I’d rather have a raft than have Kanu…’
    ‘I’d rather f*cking drown than have Kanu…’
    Still kills me…