Real Madrid are due to begin their Champions League title defence with a group stage curtain-jerker against APOEL tonight, but they’ll have to do so without the services of man-of-the-moment Marco Asensio.
Indeed, Asensio is set to miss Los Blancos’ Group H opener due to injury and not just any old injury, oh no.
He has a pimple on his leg. A pimple. On his leg.
Thankfully, after Asensio missed training on Tuesday due to the same issue, Real boss Zinedine Zidane was able to clarify the situation at his midweek press conference:
[Marco has] a pimple… which stopped him pulling up his socks.
It was later reported in the local Madrid press that the 21-year-old forward picked up the infected pustule after shaving his legs.
Christ on a stick. Just when you think you’ve heard it all…