By Chris Wright

In which Chelsea urchin Daniel Sturridge, like Robin Cook before, stumbles across a case of gross age discrimination after seeing himself, Salomon Kalou and Romelu Lukaku knocked out of a shooting game (insert Ashley Cole pun here) during training and sent back to the changing rooms by senior pair Didier Drogba and Nicolas Anelka and immediately embarks on a stint of amateur investigative journalism to expose the racket – all while Kalou fiddles with Lukaku’s rubbish hair…

The imaginary microphone just adds an air of authenticity to the proceedings, don’t you think?

Via Dirty Tackle.

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