Football GIF: Neymar Dives Like The Shameless Little Pussbag He Is vs Uruguay

Chris Wright

27th, June 2013


By Chris Wright

Last night’s Confederations Cup semi between Brazil and Uruguay was a rotten old affair, with a flat, fragmented game soon giving way to frustration and minute-by-minute diving from almost every player on the pitch.

In his role as tournament poster boy, Neymar took this as his cue to start throwing himself around like a tasered salmon – with his diving, feigning, conning and screaming gradually getting worse and worse before culminating in this moment of genius…


We prefer this “now with added Ken Masters” version…


How can you call yourself an adult male and then knowingly behave like that? Utterly, utterly shameless and, frankly, disgusting.

F**k you Neymar, you reprehensible little shit.

(GIF via 101GG)

Posted in FAIL, GIFs, Hardmen, International football, South America

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  1. John says:

    He and Busquets will be bff’s

  2. Mr. Chopper says:

    Dude sells better than Ziggler…

  3. thisISben says:

    He’ll fit in at Barca then.

  4. Joe says:

    God, I hope Barca won’t be playing Bayern in the Champions League next season… There won’t be anyone left standing up after 20 mins!

  5. shaune wiliam says:

    Well Chris, I really enjoyed the edited video, it was fun and a joke.But I ask you this.” How can you call yourself an adult male and then knowingly behave like that? Utterly, utterly shameless and, frankly, disgusting.” ??? A true man has humility where is yours?

    “F**k you Neymar, you reprehensible little shit.”
    Condemning people, and passing your judgement.You liven in a glass house it seems. Step back Chris, breathe and know this everything you believe is based on your experiences nothing more, and they are not the same as everybody else.Try to learn some humility.You will enjoy world football much more after you learn that.I can not blame you for your ignorance because you know nothing better, that is to be ignorant. Enjoy the semi and the final Chris.I Hope your next piece can be more fun,and positive.

    • GetReal says:

      Hey you ever been hit in the face and jumped 4 feet in the air and land sideways? Hmm nobody else aside from neymar has this issue. Imagine if he played any other sport that involves contact, it’s laughable at best to entertain this caught on camera cheat. He’s already creating a World Cup 2014 dive reel already. Incredible he can head the ball with his frail head

  6. dk says:

    he got elbowed and his face! how is this called dive? im a real madrid fan

  7. Jum says:

    I agree that Chris may have been pretty emotional when he wrote this piece. But you can see why!
    Neymar is a ridiculous(in a great way) talent on the football field. His antics though have left a lot to be desired still. His imminent move to Barcelona where a few players seem to ‘flop’ around at the slightest of contacts will only exaggerate his burgeoning ‘ hit the deck as and when you see fit ‘ talent.
    Cut it out of your game Neymar..or you will be remembered as the Brazil number 10 who clutched his face and conned a card at the World Cup like Rivaldo against Turkey instead of the boy wonder that Pele was when he donned the famous Selecao 10!

  8. Chris B. says:

    So what happened? The ref was right there. Yellow?

  9. cj herrera says:

    I just this second realized Neymar gets his foot stamped pretty hard. Don’t know why he’s grabbing his face, as that elbow does not seem like more than a scrape or a push — but the heel onto his toe could have hurt like a Mofo.

  10. Nuno says:

    @Chris B.
    The ref gave a freekick to Uruguay as Neymar was grabbing the Uruguay player just before this happened. Nothing happened over this flop, as there was contact, although not one bit enough to justify Neymar’s drama and that ridiculous jump backward and grab of face like he’d been shot…
    Neymar has had some great games in this tournament, but he has also flopped a lot, always spending at least 20 seconds rolling on the ground, no matter how hard the contact was. I fear for what he might still learn from Busquets and Dani Alves…

  11. Tom Foulds says:

    @shaune wiliam
    You dont know the meaning of “tongue in cheek” do you?

  12. […] Wright from the tremendous soccer site Who Ate All the Pies summed up Neymar’s flopping genius perfectly, saying the phenom was “throwing himself […]

  13. cj herrera says:

    Just to respond to myself (tres gauche, I know) on the foot stamp: On further, further review, Neymar seems to be launching himself upward in full Louganis mode before the contact on his foot is even made.

    I do think the defender is aiming for Neymar’s foot, but Neymar had already made up his mind to alert the world about the crimes against his delicate face.

  14. Anabelle says:

    At first I thought Neymar did dive.

    But after watching this video, I saw Neymar got punched in the face, and the other player tried to stump on his foot really hard. I’d have done the same thing.

    As a diving judge I give Neymar a 9.5. Gold Medalist.

  15. borko says:

    “F**k you Neymar, you reprehensible little shit.”
    quote of the year. couldn’t agree more.

    • Danica da silva santos says:

      Fuck all you fucken cunts horse shit u watch soccer not play so stop shitting on people that entertain u assholes I don’t approve of the crap you say about neymar oh nd jack ass I’ll break your fucken chicken legs bitch ass punk

  16. s says:

    neymar is literaly jumping on the ground. no need for a player of his skill to be doing this every single game he plays in, i’m getting sick of it. totally agree, he can go f**k himself. and lay off chris, the man is absolutely right here. you guys are saying he got elbowed, some say he was hit and tripped up…so which is it then?? there was little to no contact there…

  17. Ha! says:

    Not sure what all the confusion is here. I CLEARLY see a blonde man in a red gi uppercut Neymar. That would send any of you all flying too.

  18. Adam says:

    True. That one was ridiculous. But, I don’t think the others were dives. Post the gifs, I saw him getting kicked all game.

    Everyone’s commenting on Barca, but has anyone watched them in the past couple years? I haven’t seen Sergie or Alves dive lately. Also, HAS ANYONE EVER SEEN MESSI OR INIESTA DIVE? It’s not that they don’t dive, it’s that they get tackled hard and stay on their feet anyway… when most players would fall from the contact. That should be commended a bit more. You have these little 5’7 guys staying on their feet, taking blows, and then big bad CR7 and Bale flopping like a trout out of sea.

  19. Red_Devil says:

    @dk, yeah an elbow may have grazed his face be he jumps back like a shotgun was just fired at him.

  20. 007JNR says:

    Guy stamped on his foot pretty hard and on purpose by the looks of it.

  21. dk says:

    Hi, I’m dk and I’m a twat for standing up for this diving little fairy!

  22. Dont worry says:

    @Adam you make no sence, “HAS ANYONE EVER SEEN MESSI OR INIESTA DIVE? It’s not that they don’t dive, it’s that they get tackled hard and stay on their feet anyway… ” Contradictions so they do or dont dive?

    Oh and Dani alves Ha hes a disgrace, ive seen him drop just as bad as biscuits

  23. Adam says:

    @Dont worry: Where is the contradiction? First I rhetorically ask if you’ve seen them dive. Because no one has. Never happened. Next I follow that the achievement isn’t that they don’t dive (that should be a given for all footballers) but that they stand up to hard tackles. Defenders are constantly trying to knock them over. Instead of rightfully falling, they ride the challenge and dribble by them. That’s RARE! Most players fall when tackled (even if they could stand up) because they prefer the free kick.

    Point being: there is some honorable play going on there. In years past, Busquets and Alves have been pretty disgraceful. Now, it’s Alexi Sanchez who so easily falls at minimal contact (not as highlighted since they haven’t been in mega big games…. but Sanchez is by far the worst diver at Barca)

    At every team there are shits and greats. Disgraceful players and honorable players. Kind of ridiculous to blame a whole team based on a bad apple or past play. Currently, Spurs, Pool, Madrid are diving and conning refs at greater frequency than Barca.

  24. Peters says:

    You must defeat my shoryuken to stand a chance

  25. randave bodoh says:

    “F**k you Neymar, you reprehensible little shit.”

    Replace Neymar with Rivaldo, Ronaldo ( Fat ), or any other brazilian and the sentence will remain to be 100% true.

  26. topkik says:

    What a fucking cunt. I hope a centerback of the likes of Jaap Stam or Vidic comes along and fractures Neymars chicken legs

  27. Jo says:

    @Adam I’ve seen both of them dive, I’ve also seen messi blast the ball into the crown after it’s a few meters wrong and then act like he’s done nothing wrong. Di Maria is Madrid’s serial diver and the same goes for Suarez and Bale, not their entire teams. Ronaldo has a high center of gravity and is a bit soft but has cleaned up his game. As long as Barca has Busquets, Pedro, Alves, Sanchez, Neymar, and Masch in their team they will be the biggest cheats in football.

  28. V says:

    randave bodoh,

    Ronaldo? Don’t put them all in the same bag.

  29. Daniel Swildens says:

    He’d fit in equally well at Real Madrid. Because he could just have been pretending to be C. Ronaldo of course.

  30. aerilkimi says:


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